Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 64320 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 322(@200wpm)___ 257(@250wpm)___ 214(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64320 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 322(@200wpm)___ 257(@250wpm)___ 214(@300wpm)
She deserves to know why I’m leaving. Only for a little while. Only until I know she’s safe.
“The doctor’s appointment is at one I think,” Kat says sleepily and I turn to face her slowly, my body stiff. My eyes burn from lack of sleep, but I don’t care.
I welcome the pain.
“You’re finally awake,” I answer her and prepare myself for what I have to do.
The world thinks we’ve broken up. And it has to stay that way.
“You’ve been up long?” she asks and then yawns. There’s a slight radiance to her. Her hair forms a messy halo on the pillow and a delicate simper is on her lips.
“Kat.” I say her name and swallow my words.
I’ve been thinking about them all morning, the images of the nightmare feeling more and more real. Every possibility of what could happen has been running on a loop in my mind.
“I have to tell you something.” I stare at the dresser across the room. I look in the mirror but I can’t see our reflection, only the closed door to the bedroom.
“It’s only for a short time, but I have to go do something.”
“What do you mean?” she asks, the sweetness she had for me vanishing far too quickly as she sits upright. She reaches out to me, her soft, small hand gripping my shoulder.
“I mean I don’t think I can go to the appointment today.”
Her expression falls and she visibly retreats, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping the comforter tightly around her.
“Why not?” she asks with a little heat in her words. With every second that passes, I can see her getting angrier. “What’s more important?”
“I don’t think we should be seen in public together,” I tell her and swallow the painful lump in my throat. No one knows we’re together or that she’s pregnant. “This has to stay a secret.”
“Are you serious?”
“Kat, I have to take care of some things.”
“Bullshit! What about us?” she says and her voice cracks. “What about taking care of us?” She motions between us.
“I am,” I tell her and my words come out strangled, shattering the delicate balance that was here only a moment ago.
“If you walk through that door, you’re not coming back.” Kat’s voice shakes as she speaks. Her eyes are wide and the grief I feel is reflected in them. “You can’t keep doing this to me. I can’t keep …” she trails off and hiccups, on the verge of tears.
“It’s only for a short while,” I tell her to reassure her.
“I don’t understand.” Kat shakes her head as if she thinks I’m crazy. As if what I’m saying is incomprehensible and maybe it is, but it’s okay. The less she knows, the safer she is. That’s the only thing that matters.
“I have something I need to finish.”
“You need to stop this, Evan. Please. I’m ready to move forward. We have a baby coming. Our baby. We can do this, but you can’t keep going backward.”
God, I wish she knew.
I could try to outrun it, but not with her by my side. I’ll fight it and come back to her. I just need her to have faith. I know she will. The last thought is what moves me to put space between us.
“Just believe me when I say I love you, but I can’t be with you right now.”
A silent sob wracks through her body. “Stop it! Stop it, Evan. Please! I don’t care what it is, just leave it behind and stay with me. Please, I’m begging you.”
“I’m so sorry,” I tell her and hate that I’m causing her pain.
“Why are you doing this?” she whispers. “I can’t believe … I can’t …”
“I love you, Kat, but I can’t do this right now.” The words come out as if I’m ending it with her, and that’s when I realize it’s what I have to do.
To protect her and our baby.
“I swear to God, if you walk out of that door, Evan, it’s over. I’m done playing games. You’re here or you’re not.” Her words are restrained as she says them, each one sounding more and more painful.
My chest tightens with an unbearable sorrow as I whisper, “I’m sorry, Kat.”
Chapter 7
Kat
Winter happened overnight. And it’s a bitter one at that.
My hands are still freezing as I stare at the fire in Jules’s great room. Her home has been painted and decorated since I was here only a week or so ago. Jules didn’t waste any time making the space feel cozy and warm. The soft gray walls complement the cream furniture and stone fireplace perfectly. She said it’s all in “mineral tones” although many of the accent colors are a dark, luxurious purple.
“I love the color,” I tell her in an attempt to cheer myself up and break the awkwardness in the room. Usually when we get together it’s nothing but laughter. My face can’t hide that I’ve been a crying mess and so laughs have been hard to come by.