Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 139803 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 699(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 139803 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 699(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
I laid down on the bed and motioned for Axel to get on the other side of her. “You good with this?” he quietly asked me.
I jerkily nodded my head at him. He only sat there, looking unsure as he held her hand. “Axel,” I snapped, “lay your fucking ass down. She wants you here.”
“Julian—"
“Don’t,” I warned him. “Just do what she wants,” I whispered harshly as her breathing evened back out, a sure sign she was falling back asleep.
He nodded, and though he still looked unsure, he laid down in front of her as I spooned her from behind, my arms wrapped tightly around her as he continued to hold her hand.
“We need to talk later,” he said quietly.
I sighed as I buried my face in her hair, breathing in the scent of lavender from her shampoo. “I know,” I grunted. “But for right now, we give her what she wants.”
* * *
✶ ✶ ✶
* * *
Axel sighed as he crossed his arms over his chest. We were in the den of the house playing the Xbox, but Meghan was still in our view. She was in her painting room, working on a new painting. She had barely been painting for two hours, and she was already getting smudges of paint on her face.
She was fucking beautiful in her own little world like that. I fucking loved it.
“We need to talk,” Axel suddenly said, drawing my eyes to him.
I sighed and set my controller down, reaching up to run my hands down my face. I was honestly avoiding the conversation. I wasn’t ready to discuss the fact that Meghan may actually need more than just me. I wanted to be possessive when it came to her, but if my time in therapy had taught me anything, it was that sometimes patients with mental health issues needed more than what one individual could offer.
I loved Meghan to death—with every fucking fiber of my being—but I was pretty sure a part of me had always known she would need more than just me and what I could offer her in terms of emotional and mental commitment.
I just didn’t ever want to face that fact.
“Julian, I’m not trying to step in on your relationship with her,” Axel told me quietly, his dark eyes flickering towards Meghan as she shifted on her stool to get more comfortable. “What you two have—that’s fucking magic, bro. The love you two have for each other is something not many people get to experience in their lives. If I need to step back, I will.”
I shook my head as I clenched my jaw. “If you step back from her, Axel, it’ll do too much harm. She’s made so much fucking progress, and you are a huge part of that progress now. How I feel about your involvement with her doesn’t matter. I have to learn to accept it.”
Axel blew out a harsh breath. “It’s not fair to you, Julian.”
I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter what’s fair to me, Axel. What matters is her; she is all that matters to me. The only reason I signed that contract is because I knew how conflicted she was over me giving up my dreams. I’m content with doing whatever it takes to make her happy. If she needs you, too, then I’ll deal with it, and I’ll eventually come to terms with it.”
Axel sighed. It was clear he didn’t like my answer, but I knew he had feelings for her, too. Axel was too fucking selfless for his own fucking good. “So, what do we do, Julian?”
I looked over at him. “Big question is, Axel, are you ready for what it takes to be with her if that’s what she needs?” I asked him. “You do this, and you’re giving up your chance to be in a monogamous relationship with another woman. Meghan isn’t someone you can just up and walk away from when you’re tired of sharing.”
Axel’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Julian, don’t pretend like you don’t notice how I feel about her.” I nodded once. I’d never been blind to that.
“I’m not pretending,” I retorted as I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m making sure that you understand that if you commit to her, you can’t just fucking walk away. You’ll send her spiraling again.”
Axel nodded once. “I know that, Julian. But I’m also trying to make sure that I’m not losing my friendship with you.”
I shook my head. “The only way you’ll do that is if you fuck this up with her,” I told him honestly, and I fucking meant that.
He nodded once. “Then, I’m in.” We were quiet for a moment before he spoke up again. “How do we do this?”
“We let her set the pace,” I told him. “She does what she is comfortable with. We don’t push anything. Meghan is already subconsciously reaching out and pulling you into our little circle. If we come to her with this, it may send her into her shell. So, her pace, her time.”