Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
I wanted more, so badly. That scared me. If I went there, I wouldn’t be able to handle being apart from him again. I’d worked so hard to get to the place I was before our time here. I couldn’t say I was over him, but I was learning to live without him. And if I couldn’t accept all aspects of his life, we couldn’t go backward. Time hadn’t just stood still these last three years.
My brain battled with my heart and body. All my heart wanted was to immerse itself in the love I could feel emanating from him. And my body wanted him inside of me.
His chest pressed against mine. I could feel his erection straining through his jeans. My legs grew weak, and I felt myself losing control. But the lust consuming me right now was no match for the fear.
I pushed away suddenly as my brain won out. “I think you should sleep on the floor tonight.”
CHAPTER 17
ATTICUS
The next morning, Nicole got up before I did, so I didn’t have a chance to make her coffee. I’d overslept because I hadn’t fallen asleep until around four AM after tossing and turning on the floor.
She stood at the counter buttering toast, and I came up behind her. She flinched as she became aware of me.
I spoke low into her ear. “I’m sorry I lost control last night. It won’t happen again.” But even as I said it, I found myself turned on as my chest grazed her back. I knew my promise was a lie.
She turned around to meet my gaze. “I’m sorry I made you sleep on the floor.”
“What did I tell you before about apologizing to me? You owe me nothing. Certainly no apologies for reacting to my bad behavior.” I shrugged. “Anyway, my sleeping on the floor was probably a good idea.”
I reached for a mug and poured myself some coffee. “I’ll be gone for an hour.”
She stopped mid-bite. “Where are you off to?”
“I have my therapy session at noon. I wasn’t expecting to oversleep.”
“Oh, that’s right.” She licked the corner of her mouth. “I guess you can always count on me for new material, right?”
“Yeah.” I chuckled. She was definitely the star of my therapy sessions. I took a sip of my coffee and lowered my voice. “Later we should talk about when we’re gonna tell Mimi about Louise.”
She cringed. “We do have to tell her.”
I usually hated therapy, but I’d take a session with Dr. Jensen any day over having to tell Mimi that her caretaker had passed away. That wasn’t gonna be fun, and I dreaded it.
I downed my coffee and found my laptop before walking out to my car. After logging in to the chat portal, I waited for Dr. Jensen to appear on the screen.
She finally popped up and smiled. “Atticus. How have things been going in New Jersey?”
The first thing that came to mind was last night. “I fucked up.”
Dr. Jensen tilted her head. “What do you mean by that?”
“I crossed the line with Nicole.”
She drew in her brows. “What did you do?”
“I came on to her physically.”
“How did she react?”
I smiled slightly. “She seemed turned on, to be honest, but also uncomfortable with her reaction. Ultimately, she pushed back and told me to sleep on the floor. So that’s what I did, tossing and turning all night. Served me right.”
“What do you think caused you to act in such a way?”
“I’d gone to New York for the day, and I really missed her. Then we found out Mimi’s caretaker passed away. It was an emotional day. I guess it fucked me up a little, made me feel like I needed that physical contact.”
Her eyes widened. “Her grandmother’s caretaker died?”
“Sorry. Yeah.” I sighed. “What a shock. She had a heart attack while on vacation, and we need to find a way to tell Mimi. It’s gonna suck so bad.” I exhaled. “It looks like I’m going to be here longer than I originally thought.”
“Well, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“The messed-up thing is… I’m sort of happy about it.” I raised my palms. “I mean, not that Louise died, of course—didn’t mean to imply that. Just happy that I have a little bit of extra time here with Nicole. I feel like, at the very least, we’re working our way back to a friendship, even if she’ll never consider more than that with me again.”
She jotted something down. “You keep talking about your relationship as if it’s completely unsalvageable. From what you tell me, it seems like the two of you still have a lot of unresolved feelings for each other. So I’m surprised you don’t seem to have any hope.”
I rubbed my eyes. “It’s complicated.”
“I know we haven’t delved into what happened between the two of you. I haven’t wanted to push you into reliving what was clearly a trauma until you’re ready. But I do think we need to go back a little today and continue your backstory with her.”