Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
“What happened after the divorce papers were filed?”
“Everything went down so damn fast at that point. I kept trying to convince her to give us another chance, but she insisted it was best for us to not be married anymore. She refused any money from me, and we didn’t own much together at that point, so there wasn’t much holding up the process. Everything moved faster than I wanted.”
“You signed the papers?”
“What choice did I have? I didn’t want to force her to be married to me if my life wasn’t what she’d signed up for.” I closed my eyes for a moment as I resisted the pain of one of my worst memories. “The night the divorce was finalized was the first time I ever went off the deep end. I drank so much I blacked out.” I blew out a long breath as shame washed over me. “About a week later, though, I got this clarity that the divorce was just a bunch of papers that had been born of her panicking. I didn’t give a shit whether we were legally married or not. She was all that mattered to me. And I thought maybe the divorce was enough to take some of the pressure off. I wondered if I could still make things work with her without the pressure of having to maintain the perfect marriage.”
Dr. Jensen tapped her pen against her chin. “Interesting that you went from rock bottom to hopeful again, even though nothing had changed.”
“Well, there’s nowhere but up to go from rock bottom. So, yeah, I decided to not give up on us. She meant too much to me to just throw away everything we’d built. But I did it quietly. Nicole used to tell me not to share my dreams, that no one could dissuade me if I kept them to myself. So that’s what I did. I didn’t tell her I was hanging on to hope. I didn’t tell anyone. I just chose to believe that everything would work out, that somehow the universe would bring her back to me.”
“Based on the current situation, I assume that never happened?”
“Not exactly. It almost happened. I moved out to L.A. after the divorce, but we talked a lot on the phone, many times late at night East Coast time. We were still in each other’s lives, slowly finding our way back to one another. It was like we were falling in love all over again—this time without the pressure of a marriage or a label.” My eyes followed a cat walking across the street. “Our conversations ran pretty deep during those calls. She admitted that she was freaked out by my sudden fame. But more than anything, she admitted that she still loved me. And I think my resilience when it came to us after the divorce helped her see how much I loved her. She told me she’d consider moving out to L.A. and building a clientele there. She had a friend who was gonna hook her up at their salon. Life was all of a sudden good again. But it didn’t last long.” I looked back at the screen. “Then my world turned upside down.”
“What happened?”
I looked over at my phone. There wasn’t much time left. No way I was gonna go there today. “You usually stop us by now. Session is about to end.”
“We can go a little longer today.”
Of course this would be the one time she would say that. But I wasn’t ready. “No.” I shook my head. “I need a breather.”
Dr. Jensen nodded and closed her notebook. “Next time, then.”
CHAPTER 18
ATTICUS
Today had been a day.
My mind wandered as I drove to my sister’s house that evening, mentally reviewing everything that had happened since I woke up late.
After my therapy session, Nicole and I had decided to bite the bullet and tell Mimi about Louise’s death. As expected, she took it really hard, cried for a while, and kept saying how unfair it was, that God should’ve taken her instead.
It was heartbreaking. But in the end, I was glad we’d been honest. It might’ve been tougher lying about why Louise was suddenly gone or trying to justify why someone Mimi loved and trusted had seemingly chosen not to come back.
I pulled up in front of Tina’s. She’d invited me to dinner because all three kids would be home. When she called, I’d initially told her I didn’t want to leave Nicole and Mimi. But Nicole had overheard my conversation and encouraged me to go, pointing out that there were few nights where my niece and nephews were all in one place. Mimi had fallen asleep by early evening, so in the end, I decided to go to Tina’s after all.
My nephew Kyle began busting my balls the second I walked in.