Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 58003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 290(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 193(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 290(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 193(@300wpm)
“Ugh. Too early.”
“Yep.” The last thing Shawn wanted to do was get up for work. But needs must. He heaved himself up and out of their warm cocoon, and then he stumbled around in the darkness of Jude’s room, trying to find his clothes. They’d slept naked, which Shawn now realised was bad planning as he failed to locate his underwear and T-shirt from wherever Jude had flung them last night.
Suddenly the lamp by the bed clicked on, flooding the room with dim yellow light. Shawn straightened up quickly, resisting the urge to cover himself. It was a bit late for modesty. “Thanks.” He cast around the room. “There they are.” He grabbed his boxers and stepped into them quickly. Feeling marginally more comfortable with his parts covered, he found his T-shirt in a heap by the bed and put that on too. Jude’s sleepy gaze on him made Shawn’s skin prickle with uncomfortable heat.
His brain suddenly supplied Shawn with the memory of Jude kneeling over him last night, his cock in Shawn’s mouth. A wave of arousal flooded through him, followed by a lurch of anxiety.
Everything felt different this morning.
Last night, carried along on the high of what they’d done together, it had felt okay. Shawn had been totally driven by pleasure and the freedom of finally giving in to his desires, he hadn’t had time to worry about what any of it meant. Even after, when they’d gone to sleep together, he’d felt safe and content. But now, wide awake in the chill air outside Jude’s bed, everything came into focus a little too sharply.
He’d revealed himself to Jude in a way he never had with anyone—his bisexuality, his kinks, things he was barely comfortable with himself were out in the open between them. But who was Jude to him? They were friends, housemates, but that was all. Was Shawn stupid to have trusted him with this? What if Jude told someone, bragged about it with Jez and Mac, joked about what Shawn was into?
Surely he wouldn’t… but Shawn couldn’t stop his worries from spiralling out of control.
“I’d better go,” he said quickly, anxious to escape to the shower and wash away the evidence of the night before.
“Okay.” Jude sat up in bed, the covers pooling around his waist. His voice was still rough with sleep. “Have a good day.”
Shawn swallowed. He stared at Jude for a moment, a rabbit caught in headlights. He should probably give him a hug or a kiss or something. It seemed wrong leaving without offering that, at least. But he bottled it and turned for the door instead. “See you later.”
“Yeah, see you.”
Was that disappointment in Jude’s tone?
Then Jude added, “We should probably talk tonight.”
Shawn’s stomach lurched. He looked over his shoulder and met Jude’s unreadable gaze. “Yeah,” he managed. “Yeah. Probably.”
Hurrying out of Jude’s room, he literally walked right into Dev, who was coming out of the bathroom on a waft of toothpaste and shower-steamy air. “Shit!” Shawn jumped out of his skin. He hadn’t been expecting to see anyone else at this time of the morning. Nobody else in the house started work or lectures as early as him.
“Oh, sorry!” Dev clutched his towel, gaze taking in Shawn’s boxers and T-shirt. With his hair all mussed from sleep, it must be obvious where he had spent the night. Shawn saw the realisation dawn on Dev’s features, eyes widening and jaw dropping. It would have been almost comical if Shawn hadn’t been busy freaking out.
Dev said, “I, um, didn’t know you and Jude….”
“We’re not!” Shawn snapped quickly. “It’s not…. We were just watching a film together, and I fell asleep.”
Because obviously mates watch movies in their underwear together, in bed. Fuck’s sake.
Dev looked about as convinced as the explanation warranted. “Whatever, Shawn. It’s none of my business. And it’s not like I care who you… watch films with.” His lips curved in something that approached a smile, but he quickly wiped it away, obviously sensing Shawn’s tension. “Don’t worry about it. If it makes you feel better, I never saw you.”
“Thanks.” With that, Shawn escaped down the stairs to the middle floor, his heart pounding in his ears and his palms sweating.
He wasn’t sure if Dev’s assurance of secrecy did make him feel better. Now he felt kind of shitty for trying to deny it, because how homophobic was that? It was insulting to Jude, and by extension to Dev, and he was letting himself down by not being honest. But it was a lot to deal with when he was still figuring things out, and he knew he wasn’t ready to be open about what was happening between him and Jude.
Hell, we haven’t even talked about it ourselves yet.
After a hot shower, a speedy breakfast, and a chilly walk to work, Shawn’s thoughts were still a jumbled mess. He was distracted, making stupid mistakes on the till. His line manager took him off the till and sent him to unpack new stock onto the shelves instead. That was a more soothing activity than trying to deal with customers, but it only gave Shawn more time to think.