Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 58003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 290(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 193(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 290(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 193(@300wpm)
“What?” Jude seemed to wake up a little at that, frowning and rolling onto his back so he could prop his head on the armrest and meet Shawn’s gaze.
“When Jez was taking the piss about us hanging out together. I… I don’t know. I didn’t handle it very well, and what I said wasn’t cool.”
“Oh, yeah.” Recognition dawned and that hurt was there again.
Shawn felt shitty for reminding him about it. The temptation to duck away from Jude’s intense gaze was strong, but he forced himself to hold it. “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad.”
Jude sighed. “It wasn’t a big deal. I get that you aren’t ready to come out to anyone else yet, and Jez kinda put you on the spot when you weren’t prepared.” He paused. “But it did hurt a bit, not gonna lie. I mean… I know we’re just fooling around for the webcam, and it doesn’t mean anything, but this is why I usually try not to get involved with blokes who are in the closet. It never feels good to be denied, especially when you made it sound like there was something wrong with liking dick. You really need to stop doing that.”
“Yeah. Fuck.” Shawn felt like a right wanker, but he knew he deserved it. “I’ll try not to do it again.”
“Old habits are hard to break.” Jude’s face softened a fraction. He kicked Shawn’s thigh with his socked foot. “But you’ll learn.”
Shawn grabbed his ankle. “Cut it out.” But he relaxed, relieved to be forgiven.
Jude cleared his throat. “Speaking of liking dick, you still up for this evening’s show? It’s no skin off my nose if you want to give it a miss because it’s messing with your head and making stuff too complicated for you.”
“No!” Shawn replied immediately, only realising how much he’d been looking forward to it when Jude casually threatened to pull the plug. “No, I want to.”
A pleased smile spread over Jude’s face. “Okay, cool.”
Shawn flushed, glad that Jude seemed happy that he wanted to carry on with their arrangement. He squeezed Jude’s ankle where his fingers were still wrapped around it, then let go.
They drank their coffee, watching TV in silence. A little later, Shawn glanced back at Jude and saw he’d fallen asleep. Smiling, Shawn turned the TV off and crept out without waking him.
CHAPTER TEN
“Fuck’s sake, you lazy bastard. Did you even make it to bed last night?”
Jude got a rude awakening when Jez threw himself down onto the sofa by his feet, bouncing and making Jude’s stomach lurch. He hadn’t drunk loads last night, but enough to feel rough.
He rubbed his eyes as Mac sat on the floor in front of him. Jez had turned on the X-box and was powering it up for Call of Duty; the display told Jude it was around midday.
“I did make it to bed. This is a nap. Or it was till you fuckers ruined it for me.”
“Aw.” Mac turned and ruffled Jude’s hair. “Sorry, mate. But duty calls—ha! See what I did there?”
Jez and Jude groaned in unison.
“So, what did you do last night?” Jez asked.
“Met some mates for drinks, then went to the Palace. Stayed there really late.”
“Did you hook up?”
“Nah.”
Jude had thought about it. There’d been lots of hot blokes on the dance floor, and a few had tried their luck with him, but he wasn’t feeling it. Instead he kept imagining what it would be like to dance with Shawn and how he would react to being on a dance floor surrounded by shirtless queer guys. Would he love it? Or would it send him running back to his closet?
Fucking Shawn… even though Jude had been pissed off with him for his stupid comment on Friday, he still hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. At least Shawn had apologised now.
Jude ran his tongue around the inside of his mouth. He was thirsty, and his mouth tasted gross. “Ugh, I feel disgusting. I need fluid, food, and fresh air. Preferably in that order. See you later, guys.”
He heaved himself up off the sofa and left Jez and Mac to their game.
After rehydrating and eating a huge plate of cheesy oven chips and baked beans, Jude got some fresh air and exercise by walking the long way round to the supermarket to stock up on food for the week. He carried his heavy bags home, and then hit the shower after unpacking them.
He spent the first part of his afternoon online, doing some research. He wanted to ask Shawn whether he’d be up for being restrained, but Jude hadn’t really done that other than with his ex using a tie, and with one bloke he’d hooked up with once who had all sorts of fancy leather cuffs and rope and stuff. Jude didn’t have anything like that, but he’d be able to improvise with something. The Internet proved very helpful in that regard.