Series: Peach State Stepbros Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 78418 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78418 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
“Maybe we should call Ash. He’s like a shot of caffeine for Colin anytime he’s in the room,” Troy adds. I know he’s trying to make me smile, but it’s not working. I’m being a mopey idiot and I know it.
“No, don’t call Ash.”
“Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise? Not everyone can be as good together as me and T,” Atlas boasts.
“Don’t be a dick,” Troy playfully scolds his boyfriend, who pumps his brows at him.
“But you think it’s hot.”
“Good point. Do it again,” Troy replies.
I know Atlas isn’t trying to be a jerk and really just wants to distract me or make me smile, but I can’t do it. “Can we get back to me here? I’m freaking out, and the two of you are engaging in some kind of weird foreplay. You look like you’re going to go at it on the table at any minute.”
“Would be a good show,” Atlas says. “Here, let me move some of this stuff first.”
“Not as good as me and Ash.” My heart flutters. “God, I love Ash.” I bang my head against the table a couple of times.
“Um…maybe I should go. I’m not sure how good I would be at this.” Atlas scoots his chair out from the table, but I snap my head up.
“Wait.”
“Fuck. Almost made it.” He sits back down. I know he’s not being serious. This is just how Atlas is.
“What’s going on, Col?” Troy sets his hand on my arm. “You and Ash are perfect for each other. I’m not sure there’s anyone more fitted to be together than you.” Atlas growls. “Other than me and A.”
“That’s better.” Atlas crosses his arms, and okay, I smile. I can’t help it.
“I know we are. Ash is my person. That’s what makes all this so scary.”
Troy’s forehead wrinkles. “What do you mean? You’re not the type to run from a commitment.”
“No. That’s not it at all. I’m not afraid of being serious with him. I’m afraid of losing him.”
I glance back and forth between them, and they’re looking at me like I’m the world’s biggest idiot.
“This might be me being a dick again, but have you seen you and Ash together? Have you seen the way he looks at you? Do you know the way you worship the ground he walks on? I don’t think you’re going to lose him.”
“What Atlas said, only not as douchey,” Troy adds.
“But that doesn’t mean anything. Not really. Shit happens. My parents were best friends growing up. They were each other’s first everything, and they didn’t work. And what happens if that’s me and Ash? I don’t know how to lose him. It would feel like losing a part of myself—fuck, like my heart or lungs or something I can’t be without.”
“So you’re just going to pull away from him? Makes perfect sense. Solid plan,” Atlas says.
I turn to Troy. “I’m going to kill your boyfriend.”
“Do you want me to hold him down?”
I chuckle, though I don’t feel it in my gut. “I know it’s confusing, but we told my mom. I didn’t expect anything but support, but she brought up all this shit, and now I can’t stop thinking about all the things that can go wrong.”
“You should try thinking about all the things that can go right.” Atlas shrugs. “Seems more like the type of person you are.”
Something about hearing him say that—maybe because it’s Atlas and it’s so unlike him, maybe because it shows that even he sees me, this guy who doesn’t like to show he cares about anyone but Troy—but all I know is that it rings some kind of bell inside me.
He’s right.
This isn’t like me.
This isn’t who I am.
Troy says, “I’ve known you for a long time, and you’ve never been the type to throw in the towel. I can’t imagine why you would do it now, when all that’s going to do is make you lose the person you love the most.”
“I’m not throwing in the towel. I would never do that with Ash. I’d do anything for him. Anything to make it work with him. He’s it for me. Forever. I…oh…”
“Ding, ding, ding! I think he’s got it!” Atlas does a mock cheer, but I ignore him.
What the hell am I doing? Why would I keep this stuff to myself? Being scared is one thing—it’s normal to be frightened when something really matters—but not sharing it with Ash is inexcusable. It goes against the essence of who we are. All it’s going to do is put a wedge between us. The very thing I’m afraid of is the thing that I’m making happen…
“I gotta go.” I grab my backpack and start shoving shit inside. I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. I’m hurting Ash because I’m scared, when all I have to do is tell him how I feel, and we can get through it together.