Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 176002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 880(@200wpm)___ 704(@250wpm)___ 587(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 176002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 880(@200wpm)___ 704(@250wpm)___ 587(@300wpm)
I wait for his response, my fingers shaking around my phone. I’m so angry. Angry at him, at myself, at the way he’s going to back off like a pathetic little worm now I’ve threatened his stuck-up career.
“What the fuck? Really?” He sighs. “I don’t want to hurt your parents, Ells. Jesus. Of course I don’t. I love them, too. I love us. The only girl I ever wanted was you. Right from the start. It was always you. That never changed, and it never will. Not once. Not ever.”
My head spins with his arrogance.
“Oh, really? Better tell your girlfriend that then, don’t you think? Before you start declaring your undying love to me, yet again. Make sure you milk her of all her contacts first, though.”
“Tell Carly, you mean? Eh?” he says, sounding shocked. “I already did. You must know we’re over already.”
My blood runs cold as I look at Josh.
“What do you mean? You left her?”
“Yeah, of course I left her. I left her after seeing you at the dinner table, before I even wrote the song.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
“I still can’t believe nobody told me,” Josh says, and practically floors the accelerator as he gets us on the road towards Beaconsfield. “Mum and Dad have always been massive enforcers of the no secrets policy, but they didn’t say a fucking word.”
It’s because of me – those are the words on the tip of my tongue. Your family didn’t tell you because of me.
Josh sighs. “I thought Carly was avoiding my calls because she was being a stroppy little cow, not because she’s been bawling her eyes out at their place.”
“They must have been worried sick about her.”
“Even more reason to tell me, not keep me out of the loop.”
“She probably begged them not to. Seriously. Don’t pin this all on them, Josh. It’s not fair.”
“Make excuses for them all you like, but they could have told me. I’d have been over there already, trying to help, stroppy little cow or not.”
I thought at least a tiny part of me would be smug, or relieved, or overjoyed that Connor was a prick enough to ditch the girl he ditched me for, but I’m not exactly singing Rocky right now. There are stronger forces rising up through the disdain.
Compassion.
Sympathy.
Empathy.
I’m feeling them all in one churning caboodle, and it’s a surprise to me. A weird turn of events I wasn’t expecting – which is becoming a narrative of late.
I am glad, to be fair. Anything to take my mind off Connor’s smash hit is a welcome distraction. I don’t want to give his success even a smidgen of my time.
PRICK.
“She’s probably embarrassed,” I say. “Embarrassed and hurt, and hating herself for being so fucking stupid, falling so hard for a jackass like him. I know, because I’ve been there. I know what it was like to believe I was the centre of Connor’s world, only for him to give me a see you later and drop me in the shit.”
I still remember it all too well.
I wanted to curl up in a ball and die when Connor first left me. I wanted him back, even though he’d been a complete cunt. I wanted a light at the end of the tunnel.
And I wanted my parents.
I needed my parents.
No wonder Carly has been hiding away at their place. At least hers are in Beaconsfield, not in Sydney.
Josh shoots me a glance. “You sure you want to do this? We can turn around and take you home.”
“I’ll be alright. I can wait in another room, or in the car if she can’t handle me being there, that’s fine.”
It was instinct, not logic, that had me dashing out with Josh once his mum finally picked up his call and admitted the truth to him. We were a couple in sync as we got ready to go, acting like a duo on autopilot, ready to face the trials together – dumb or not.
I tap my foot in the footwell, slightly nervous, but I know I’ll cope ok. I’m a lot stronger than I used to be. I need to keep telling myself that.
“You were being sick and sobbing over him yourself just a few hours ago, remember?” Josh reminds me.
“No, I was being sick and sobbing over the fact he was singing a song about me being a hooker for the whole world to hear. He can fuck off and go to hell for all I care. Especially now.”
I’d told him so as well. Right before I’d hung up the call and blocked him again. For good this time.
“Carly feels the same,” Josh says. “She hates him now. Mum said so. She thinks he’s a total fucking asshole.”
I’m not quite so convinced…
“He is a total fucking asshole, but that won’t stop it hurting. He’d have fed her lies and raised her up like a goddess, just to turn his back on her like a rotten turd.”