Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87825 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87825 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
I know he loves me. I’ve never questioned that. But he’s never been good at showing it. He’s even worse at loosening his hold on other people’s lives. He’s strangely silent as I walk past him toward the elevator, and that stuns me since part of me expects him to use his father voice to halt me in my tracks.
To demand I fall in line.
My heart is thumping too fast in my chest when the doors of the elevator slide open, and I escape inside. A deep voice calls my name, and when I glance up, I find Jake hurrying toward me, his long legs covering the distance between us too quickly. I hold my breath until the doors slide shut, and only then do I exhale.
This is twice in the last twelve hours I’ve made a quick getaway in an elevator. The devastation on Ashton’s face from the night before flashes through my mind, and my heart clenches. He’s the one person I want to run to right now. But he’s the last person I can go to about anything.
Chapter Thirty
Sadie
A ruckus is coming from Mandy’s bedroom. I stall in the front entrance, unsure of what I’m hearing, until a moan penetrates the thin walls, followed by the rhythmic banging of Mandy’s headboard.
Jesus. It’s barely lunchtime. Either she’s skipping classes today, or she and her mystery man came back for a quickie. Either way, I kind of envy her right now. How freeing would it be to forget about everything and just lose myself in the moment?
That’s a dangerous thought. I drop my purse onto the couch, take a seat beside it, and lower my head into my hands. My life is falling apart, and I could really use my best friend right now, but she’s obviously a little busy.
Now that I’ve had some time to process what happened this morning, it’s starting to hit me for real. I can’t believe I quit my job, and even though I need to start the search for employment pronto, I can’t bring myself to do it today.
My purse buzzes, and I almost don’t pull out my cell because it’s probably Ashton. He’s been calling and texting on and off since I left him at the hotel last night. With a sigh, I rub my palms down my face before reaching for the phone.
Ashton: Your silence is killing me.
I tell myself to put the phone away, to deal with this later or even another day, but my actions aren’t in line with what my head tells me to do. I reply to his message and end the silent treatment for the first time since we parted ways at the hotel.
Me: Is Corinne okay?
I hope he doesn’t take it as a snarky question. I really just want to know how she’s doing. It’s not her fault Ashton didn’t tell me about her pregnancy.
Ashton: She’s fine. So is the baby.
I pause, my thumbs hovering above the screen, but before I’m able to formulate a reply, he sends another message through.
Ashton: I was going to tell you.
Me: When?
Ashton: Soon. I wasn’t trying to hide it from you. She told me, and I just freaked the fuck out. I hadn’t even talked to her about it yet.
Maybe I’m feeling too beaten down and tired today, but I don’t want to argue with him. I want to take his explanation at face value. At the core of my being, I want to believe him.
Ashton: Don’t let this come between us.
Me: I’m not sure there IS an us.
Ashton: I know you don’t believe that.
Hurt wells in my throat, and I swallow it down before shooting out another text.
Me: What does Corinne want from you?
Too many seconds go by, and that only makes my heart pound faster. I tap my foot while I wait for him to reply.
Ashton: It doesn’t matter what she wants. The only woman I want is you.
His answer warms me from the inside out, but I know him. Ashton isn’t the type of guy to shirk his responsibilities. He’ll do right by his child, and I wouldn’t expect him to do anything less, especially since his dad split on him and Mandy when they were in the fifth grade. That alone will ensure Ashton goes the extra mile for his child. But I’m afraid he’ll realize he wants to do right by Corinne too, and I’m not sure what that says about me.
I’m not sure I care at this point.
I nibble my lip, tempted to throw caution to the wind and tell him to take me away from the mess I’ve created of my life. I can see myself on the back of his bike, my arms around his waist, holding on for all I’m worth as we zip down the highway. He’d make me forget for a while. Love me for a while…love me forever.