Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87825 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87825 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
I take the black and white paper with unsteady fingers and study the image under the car’s dome light. The baby is tiny, little more than a tadpole-shape nestled in the middle of the photo.
“Wow,” I murmur, unable to tear my gaze from the image. In the upper right-hand corner, today’s date is listed, along with Corinne’s last name. I’m holding the first tangible proof that I’m going to be a father.
And the thought terrifies me. I’ll be responsible for another human life, a child whose heart is designed to love unconditionally. A child filled with innocence until the world teaches him or her differently.
“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” She gazes up at me, lashes fluttering. “We made that, Ashton.”
I’m too choked up to say anything, so I hand her the ultrasound image and close her door before rounding the hood and sliding into the driver’s seat. We spend the short trip to her apartment complex in silence. Every few seconds, I sense her watching me, but she doesn’t say anything until we’re out of the car and standing at her front door.
“You don’t have to stay,” she says, the note of hurt in her voice apparent over the jingling of keys. “I want your support, but I’m not going to force it.”
“I’m here, Corinne.”
She pushes the door open, and I follow her into the apartment.
“Are you?” Her purse and keys are dropped on a table near the entrance, then she faces me, hands on her hips. “Because it doesn’t feel like you’re here at all.”
“I’m here, okay? I’m just…I’m still processing it all.”
She lets out a breath of relief, but I can hardly get air into my lungs. What I don’t tell her is how I’m not ready to be a father. Not even a little. But I don’t want her to abort, either, and if I fail to do the right thing, or say the right thing, she might consider that option.
“I’ve just been so stressed.” She grasps my hand between both of hers. “I haven’t heard from you since I told you about the baby.”
“I know,” I say, shame taking root in my stomach. “I’m sorry I shut you out. It was a cowardly, dick move. I wasn’t ready to face it, I guess.”
“You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
I nod, my throat too thick with guilt to do much else. This is the last place I want to be right now, and Corinne isn’t the woman I’m aching for. She’s sure as hell not the woman I want carrying my child.
“You have no idea how comforting it is to have you here.” She brushes her fingers up my forearm. “I’ve been so scared.”
If my fear is consuming me like this, I can only imagine how she must feel. “Let’s get you in bed. Doctors orders, right?”
“Right.”
I usher her into the bedroom and fold down the bedding. She kicks off her sneakers, removes her jeans, and crawls in, but she grabs my hand before I’m able to pull away.
“Will you hold me?”
I stumble back, out of reach. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I’ll be here for the baby, and I’ll help you with whatever you need, but I need you to know something.”
Her eyes narrow, and gone is the scared, fragile lines of her face. “Don’t say it, Ashton. I don’t want to hear it. I can’t take the stress.”
And I can’t foster delusions, no matter how much she might want me to. Even though I held proof of her pregnancy in my hands, there’s still a small part of me that wonders if the baby is mine, especially when she looks at me the way she is now, with calculation in her gaze.
“I won’t lie to you, Corinne. I’m seeing someone.”
“You’re always seeing someone. That isn’t a newsflash.” A tremor in her voice betrays her nonchalant attitude, and I’m positive she detected the truth in my words.
I reiterate them anyway. “It’s serious this time.”
She props herself up on her elbows and shoots a pointed glance at her flat belly. “So is this.”
“I realize that.”
“Who is she?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“How the hell can you say it doesn’t matter? Our child needs a father. Not a baby daddy.”
With a sigh, I push on her shoulders until she’s reclining in bed again. “Get some rest. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”
She stares at me with her big, brown eyes threatening to spill over. “Are you leaving?”
“No, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“I don’t want to do this alone.”
“You’re not alone. I’ll be in the next room.” I know it’s not what she meant, but before she can correct me, I escape into the dark shadows of her living room, and only then do I allow myself to breathe again.
So much for not taking the coward’s way out.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Sadie
I should have taken a sick day. That was the plan. Wake up in Ashton’s arms, kiss his gorgeous lips some more, go grab breakfast, then spend the day together discovering the newness of us. Instead, I’m sitting in my father’s office about to get another of his famous lectures.