Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 91213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 456(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 456(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
I look off to the side, across the parking lot. Taking a deep breath, I blow it out and turn back to Lucas. “Not relieved. Afraid.”
Understanding dawns clearly on his face. “That we’re getting too close.”
I shake my head to clarify. “That I’m opening myself up too much. You were gone on the road trip, and well, I missed you, damn it. And that scared me. I can’t afford to start missing someone. I’ve been there and done that, and it didn’t work out for me in the end.”
Lucas responds by pulling me into his arms, pressing my head to his chest, and murmuring, “I can’t stand your fucking parents, Steph. They did a number on you.”
I can’t help the laugh that bursts out from my mouth but gets muffled by Lucas’s shirt. I can feel him chuckling as his arms wrap around me. I slip mine around his waist and we squeeze each other.
“If this is too much,” he murmurs, “I’ll back off. But I want to keep seeing you. You and I have the most phenomenal chemistry that I think can exist between two people and I don’t want to give that up.”
“I don’t either,” I whisper back. “But—”
“It’s still just casual,” he guesses.
“No, it’s not casual anymore,” I disagree, and I can see the surprise at my admission on his face. “But I am scared and I don’t know how much further I can go into this. I’m compelled to be with you and also compelled to run away from you, and I don’t know what’s going to win out. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“And I don’t want to hurt you,” he assures me. “Let’s just take this one day at a time and see where it goes.”
“Okay,” I answer softly, because that means I get him for at least one more night.
Then we’ll take it from there.
Chapter 13
Lucas
There’s a look that Stephanie gets in her eyes when she’s lost to passion. They’re glazed with lust, indicating she’s in a world unto her own, and yet shining so bright and pinned to me with such intensity that I know she’s no other place but with me.
Which is why my gaze stays locked to hers as I move inside of her. I’m actually helpless to look away. She also holds my body tight with fingers digging into my shoulders and legs raised, bent and gripping my sides.
While the doctor said we could still have wild monkey sex—my words not his, as he used the word vigorous I think—somehow we lapsed into a slow mating ritual. My hips pump deep but with no rush to get off, my cock luxuriating in the amazing feeling that is all Stephanie.
And this time is different.
So different.
Less than ten hours ago, I saw our child and heard its heartbeat. That tiny little thing was the size of a bean and not looking like a baby, but well, like a bean, and I was totally in love. It was the first time in my life I’d actually been in love. Stephanie didn’t know it because she was staring in wonder at the ultrasound screen as we listened to that racing little heart, but I turned to look at her and that’s when I fell again.
Fell hard for her.
This woman doesn’t know what the meaning of motherhood because she was never the recipient of a mother’s undying love, and yet the look on her face said it all. She was also in love with that child, and I could tell it was the first time in her life too that she felt something deeply for another human being. It was fearful and wondrous and joyful and panicked all at the same time, and it was beautiful to behold.
As I drive into her slowly and she gasps and moans and clenches all around my cock, I want to tell her how she amazed me today and how I proud I am of her, and that I am humbled to be able to have witnessed her naked love today for our child and grateful that she shared it with me. But I don’t, because those words would be difficult for Stephanie to hear. I’ve come to know her very well, and I know she’s not ready to admit she can be something different from what she thought.
So I hold hard to my silence, hide my feelings, and make love to her slowly and with great care until we both come apart in each other’s arms.
—
“Want me to go?” I whisper as we lay all tangled up in each other’s arms. That orgasm wrecked us both and we’ve just been lying here pressed tightly to one another. My chin rests on her head and her face is pressed into my neck, where I can tell her breathing has evened out.