Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 66022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 330(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 330(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
That kiss, and the way Will had touched him afterward, his hands stroking his back, easing his muscles, luring him into sleep, only to awaken to see the sexy younger man, naked and taking his pleasure…
Jack felt raw, frightened, excited, almost timid and yet at the same time wildly energized by the realization his life had just exploded with possibility he’d never dreamed of until now.
Will was watching him, his gaze intense, almost fierce. “It’s not a game, Jack. There are no rules. I know this is very new for you. I want to hear more about you and Luke. I want to understand better what your feelings are, and your expectations. Whatever this is between us, I want us to take our time. If it makes you feel better, this is all new for me too.”
“What? But you—”
Will raised his hand and Jack pressed his lips together and waited. “I mean the feelings. Sure, I’ve been with guys. Lots of guys, which I’m not especially proud of. What I mean to say is I’ve never been in love.” Now it was Will’s turn to blush, which had the net effect of calming Jack down. “Not to say we’re in love,” Will hastened to amend.
“No, no of course not,” Jack agreed.
“I guess what I mean is, this level of feeling, this depth of connection—I’ve never experienced that before. I’m a virgin, if you will”—he grinned, his expression suddenly impish—“in the ways of love.”
The smile slid from his face as he said, his tone suddenly sad, “I’ve never had a committed relationship ever, with anyone. Until now that never bothered me. I think I took a kind of perverse pride in it, if you can believe that. I guess it kept me safe. It sounds so clichéd, I suppose, but if you don’t fall in love, you can’t fall out of it. If you don’t put yourself out there, emotionally speaking, you won’t get hurt.
“And it’s worked great for me, if you don’t count chronic loneliness masquerading as free-spiritedness. If you don’t count waking up next to someone whose name you barely remember, or worse, fucking them and even during the act itself knowing you never want to see them again.
“They say timing is everything. Maybe it’s true. I turned thirty and realized my life was for shit. I have money and a career that completely consumes my life, except for the time taken to have meaningless sex with virtual strangers or men I know I could never truly love. I leave it all to try and find some peace and wham. Enter Jack Crawford.”
“A guy fourteen years your senior who has no earthly idea what he’s doing at this point,” Jack interjected with a rueful grin.
“So what? That’s the point I’m trying to make, I guess. I have no idea either. I’m, to use your phrase, completely out of my ken as well. In uncharted waters. For you it’s physical, for me it’s emotional.”
Jack pondered what Will had just said. It honestly hadn’t occurred to him Will was experiencing an iota of the angst he had been consumed with these past few days. Though he still didn’t know what he was supposed to do, how he was supposed to react, or what was in store for the two of them, knowing Will was, in some ways, as scared as he was, made it easier to contemplate.
He wanted to reach across the table and put his hand on Will’s as a gesture of comfort, but years of conditioning prevented him from doing so in a public place. Instead he patted Will’s arm.
“I guess we’ll stumble through this together, then,” he said.
“Okay then. Just, Jack, you have to promise me something.” Will’s expression was earnest.
Jack leaned forward, letting his own smile fade. “Yes, of course. What is it?”
“Be gentle with me. I’m a virgin.” Will kept his expression serious for a moment but then a smile curved his lips upward and he exploded with glee. Jack cuffed Will’s head.
In spite of himself, he laughed too, his heart lighter than it had been in years. “Let’s get out of here.”
Chapter 9
“This is solid brass. You polish it up and you’ve got yourself a beauty.” Jack stroked the side of the battered old telescope Will had retrieved from the attic. They were outside on his back deck, the telescope mounted on a tripod, its lens aimed toward the heavens.
Will watched Jack tinker with the knobs as he put his face to the eyepiece. It was a perfect night for stargazing, clear and warm, the moon not yet risen, but Will only had eyes for Jack. Though he knew he shouldn’t read anything into Jack’s words—after all, they’d both just agreed they would take it slow—when Jack had said, “Let’s get out of here”, Will’s body had responded with conditioned desire.