Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
“Extra,” I agree with a sigh. “A lethal combination of too much money and hair product.” Why am I talking shit? Why am I being awful? Who even am I anymore?
“Oh, and I’m not Lev’s friend.” Thalia bunny-ears the last word.
“Is he your tutor?” I ask hopefully.
She shakes her head. “Boyfriend.”
That alcohol she was pouring into my insides? Yeah. Turns out it’s battery acid.
“Ohhh, Lev’s your boyfriend!” My voice is so high-pitched, I’m pretty sure they heard me on Mars.
“Wow. That’s… Wow. So…” Terrible. Depressing. Soul-shattering. “Amazing!” I accidentally fling the plate of cookies to the floor with an unintentional wild hand gesture.
A little voice inside me snarls, You’re the one who left him. Even though you promised you wouldn’t.
“Oops! Clumsy you. Let me get that.” Thalia glides from her stool like an erotic mythical creature. She drops to her knees—a position I’m sure my ex-BFF is familiar with—and starts collecting the cookies. I join her on the floor.
She clears her throat. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to, like, spring this on you. I just—”
“Don’t apologize!” A shriek that’s supposed to be a laugh tumbles out of my mouth. I totally forgot how to human in light of this news. What are even words? My vocal cords are their own entity and I’ve lost all control of them. “I’m not mad. Just a little surprised he hasn’t mentioned you.”
“Oh, he hasn’t?” She sounds like she’s about to cry, and now I feel like a bitch. We both pour cookie crumbs back onto the plate. Our heads bump together. Our hair is the exact same shade of yellow.
I’m going to throw up.
Thalia says, “I’m guessing he wanted to tell you in person. Which is why I’m, like, majorly mortified right now.”
“Never be mortified to tell the truth.”
“I don’t want to cause any problems.”
“Trust me, you’re not. Lev and I aren’t even that tight.”
“Oh, you aren’t?” She sounds way too perky hearing that. “How come?”
Well, I broke his heart and ghosted him, breaking every promise I made to him because my feelings for him overwhelmed me.
“You know, nothing special. Life happens, right?” I snicker.
There are five million thoughts running through my head. Now I’m thinking about how Thalia and I look the same and how creepy that is, and ugh, ugh, ugh, it’s like Lev had sex with me, but I didn’t get to have sex with him. So unfair.
Wait, do they for sure have sex together?
Of course they do, Bails. They’re seniors. And hot. And with pulses.
This is almost as painful as watching Vaughn, my childhood friend, taking a stab at mingling.
I can’t let Thalia see how hurt I am.
Not because I’m too prideful, but because it’s not this poor girl’s fault I have unresolved, deep-rooted issues with my ex–best friend. I cannot believe he didn’t say anything yesterday.
I reach to hug her while we’re both on our knees. I pat her back awkwardly. “I am so happy for you two.”
“Yay. Thanks. He’s just so perfect, you know?”
Trust me, I know.
After it is clear I’m not going to release my hold on her anytime soon (what is wrong with me?), she gently breaks apart from the hug and rinses the plate in the sink.
I watch from the sidelines, like it’s her home, not mine. She licks her lips, drying the plate with a towel and slipping it into a dish rack. “I really do want to become friends. Lev cares about you so much. And…there’s something else.”
“What?” Marx, please don’t tell me they’re engaged and planning a wedding. I refuse to be her bridesmaid. I swear, “The Show Must Go On” by Queen was written about me. My whole life consists of pretending everything is okay. Know that dog sitting in a fire, this is fine GIF?
Hello, my entire personality. Nice to meet you.
Thalia hesitates on the seam between the kitchen and hallway, her face crumpling like a paper napkin. “I worry about Lev sometimes. I feel…I feel like he isn’t where he wants to be in his life.”
My soul slumps with relief. Phew. No wedding. Yet.
She’s right. Lev is trying to please his dad by playing college football, even though he’s been dreaming of becoming a pilot ever since we were five or six. Lev’s always been this living-on-the-edge thrill-seeker.
Does that mean he opened up to her? Told her about his weaknesses, his secrets? Is that worse than them sleeping together?
I am falling apart like a house of cards. That he would share his body with someone else was something I prepared myself for in the past few years. But his soul, I thought, belonged to me. Or at least, it did. When did he retrieve it? How hadn’t I noticed?
“I’m not going to pretend I know him like you do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help him.” Thalia shoots me a sad smile. “Is it okay if I sometimes reach out to you? I know you guys were best friends growing up and I just wanna make sure we’re both there for him.”