Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 84200 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84200 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“I can’t be with you and not be with you. It’s not okay that you can’t even stand next to me in a group and have a normal conversation. I might have been able to pretend we were just friends if you could’ve pretended as well, but your absolute ignorance of me is unbearable. You lying to get space from me is inexcusable.”
I’m hot and want to tug on my collar. “What? What do you mean?”
“You said you were grabbing beers for you and Bain and walked away. That was a lie. Bain wasn’t even there yet.”
I frown in puzzlement. “How did you know that? You’d just arrived yourself.”
“Never mind how I know,” she snaps angrily. “I just know, okay?”
Holding up my hands, I surrender and knowing I’m being overly obtuse because I’m on the defense, I ask, “Okay. I still don’t understand. Did I do something wrong here?”
She blows out a breath and looks off to the left, refusing to meet my eyes. “You didn’t do anything at all.”
“And that makes you mad.”
Danica faces me. “No, that makes me sad. It makes me sad because I can’t be falling for a man who doesn’t have the courage to want to fall for me.”
“I am falling for you,” I insist. I step into her, cup her cheeks and bend my head to peer at her. “I’m there, Danica. I’m not trying to hurt you, but it’s a precarious time for this all to be happening. It’s bad timing.”
“For you,” she says evenly as she steps backward, causing my hands to fall away. “But not for me.”
I feel awkward so I shove them in my jeans pockets, vaguely noticing that it’s starting to snow. But I don’t feel the cold. “What does this mean? You don’t want to see me anymore?”
She takes in another deep breath and lets it out so slowly, maybe to prolong a very painful answer. “I can’t get in any deeper with you. My feelings are already too tied up, and after tonight, they’re now bruised. I can’t live half a life with you, not only because it hurts me, but ultimately, it will be too confusing for Travis. He can’t see us together and happy, then watch us act as strangers around the team or others.” I wince, because I understand how fucked up that sounds. “If we continue like this and he sees you’re one way with me when we’re alone and then you completely ignore me when we’re around others, it will confuse him. Fuck… it confuses me. I’m not about to let Travis see his mother made to feel like she’s not good enough. I’m not ever going to let my kid think that’s right.”
I stumble back from her, those last words landing like physical blows to my chest and twisting my guts into painful knots. Is that what I’m doing to her?
It’s startling after all those painful truths that Danica takes my hand and holds it gently. “I know you’re conflicted, Camden. And I absolutely understand your reasoning behind us staying a secret. You’re not wrong… I know this could cause unrest within the team, and that scares you. So hear me… I’m legitimizing your feelings. But I’m also going to legitimize mine. We’re at two different places in our lives and this is where our paths diverge.”
I know she’s right but fuck if I’m going to admit it out loud. So I remain silent.
Her hand slips from mine and my gaze falls away from hers. “If you decide you’re able to give more… to make this real… you know where to find me.”
I nod, my mind racing with a million conflicting thoughts. I don’t reply, but it’s when I notice cold snow hitting the back of my neck that I look up and see she’s gone. I scan down the block and there’s no sign of her.
CHAPTER 26
Danica
The heel of my foot taps restlessly as I watch the door for Kiera. It was a last-minute invite, but she didn’t hesitate to accept when I asked her to meet me for breakfast. I think the nature of my text ensured she’d come.
I’m all fucked up in the head and need a sounding board.
She merely replied, When and where?
I chose a quaint tea and pastry shop near the arena, an area of town she’s familiar with. Kiera only moved here three months ago and is still learning the city. The tea shop has the added benefit of serving chamomile, which hopefully will ease my nerves.
I chose Kiera rather than a handful of other friends I’m close with because she already knows about me and Camden. When Camden and I stumbled on her and Bain a little over a week ago at the gala, we became a group of four having illicit relationships within the bounds of the Titans’ team. I pulled Kiera away from Bain, dragged her back to the ballroom and tried to get the down-and-dirty details. It had to be quick since we were surrounded by people.