Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 84200 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84200 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“Yeah… Tillie lost her parents in a car accident. It made it easier to talk to her about the plane disaster. You know… having something so awful in common.”
I nod. I know exactly what he means. Seeing how Danica stayed strong for her son and remade her life has been a significant catalyst for me, helping me move forward past my grief and guilt. I never addressed it the way I should have eleven months ago.
“They were a close couple,” Coen says in a low voice, and it’s because he’s still looking at Danica that I realize he’s talking about her and Mitch. “Together since they were kids. I admire her, but honestly… how do you get past something like that? I’m not sure I could get past it if I lost Tillie.”
If I thought I couldn’t feel worse tonight, I was wrong. Coen just unwittingly gave me a huge reason why I shouldn’t be with Danica.
Because maybe she’ll never feel the same for me that she did for Mitch. I shake my head, forcing that thought away. I’m past those doubts. Danica has assured me, and I have to trust her in a way that I can’t exactly trust myself, to take the next step.
Christ, I’m an asshole.
I’m a mess.
An assholish mess.
I want to tell Coen that yes, people can move on. I want to tell him that Danica has decided to move on.
With me.
But I don’t.
“Listen… I’ve got more rounds to make. I’ll catch up with you later.” Coen and I fist-bump and then he walks away.
I check my watch and see it’s still a half hour before Danica and I agreed to leave—separate from each other, of course. I’m to head out first and she’ll follow about fifteen minutes later.
Meandering across the living room, I join Baden, Sophie, Gage and Jenna. Gage was my teammate last year and is now a coach. Since he made the transition, there’s a line of respect we don’t cross, but at these types of gatherings, no one’s a player and no one’s a coach. We’re all simply Titans.
I get sucked into a conversation about Ted Lasso. Baden’s never seen it and we’re astounded and give him shit. I feel someone at my elbow and move to the left to make room for another person to join the conversation.
It’s Danica. My body reacts immediately, in painful ways that pull me in different directions. Her arm brushes against mine and I smell her shampoo, and it makes me want to devour her in front of everybody. This is doused quickly by my panic that everyone in this group will see my feelings in my expression and bearing.
I barely spare her a glance and look across the room. Kirill is standing all alone at the kitchen island, nibbling on carrots and dip. “Hey… I’ll be back. I’ve got to ask Kirill something.”
No one pays me any attention except Danica. And I don’t so much see as feel her hurt that I didn’t give her more than a brief glance. That I’m leaving as soon as she arrives.
I’m only able to suck in a relieved breath when I reach Kirill.
“What’s up, man?” he says, and I grab a carrot, swirling it in the dip. I fucking hate carrots.
“Not much,” I mutter and twist my neck to look over at Danica. To see how badly I’ve either pissed her off or hurt her.
But she’s not where I left her.
My eyes scan the room and the carrot drops out of my hand and into the dip when I see her walking out the front door with her coat on and her purse hitched over her shoulder.
“What the fuck?” I grouse, looking at my watch. She’s leaving earlier than we’d planned and before me.
I don’t rush to follow but follow her I do. Casually winding my way through people, I even manage a quick joke to Bain about arriving so late and deciding to join us. He smirks, but he’s forgotten as I exit the house.
From the front porch, I scan left to right for Danica. The cars are parked on both sides of the street. I spot her half a block down.
Without hesitation, I jump off the porch and cut across Coen’s front yard. I hurdle a low line of shrubbery into the neighbor’s yard and manage to intercept Danica. My hand takes her wrist. I love how delicate her bones are and how soft her skin is. “Why did you leave so early? Is everything okay?”
She tugs her arm away and while her tone is even and calm, her eyes are harsh and unyielding. “No, it’s not okay. I can’t do this, Camden. I thought I could but I can’t.”
I thought I had some panic moments in the house but clearly not. Right now, I feel like I might hyperventilate. “Can’t do what? I don’t understand.”