Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 45328 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 227(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45328 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 227(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
We stood there looking at each other for the next minute and a half before I turned and walked away.
I looked back at the house in the rearview mirror all the way down the drive because I could see her standing in the window watching me leave.
I smiled when I made it onto the street and couldn’t tell you why I was smiling. All I know is that there’s been a heaviness pressing down on me since the day of the divorce, that was now gone.
17
Since I was now in the habit of leaving my laptop open to the security at the house, I heard the doorbell at around ten that morning.
I stopped what I was doing and watched as her girls were let into the house. Her girls, there were four of them that lived locally and another three that were scattered all over the country.
Only the four, Amelia, Rosie, Janine and Ilene were there though. I watched the women hug and smile at each other as they followed her into the living room.
There was a lot of small talk and catching up for the first few minutes then they brought out the big guns.
“Okay girlfriend what gives?” That was Amelia, the only African American in the bunch and always the one with the most to say.
We used to get along until she had to choose sides and there really wasn’t any question now was there.
“What do you mean?” I studied Jilly as she interacted with her friends to see if there was any lingering sadness, anything that I should be aware of.
“What do you men what I mean? You’ve blown us off twice in one week, what’s going on? Are you two back together or not?”
She shrugged her shoulders and the look on her face made my heart sad. “I don’t know.” It was one thing for me to punish her, see her sadness, but something else entirely, for her to cower in front of others because she wasn’t sure of my feelings for her.
I ran my finger along the top of my lip and relaxed in my seat to hear what she was going to say. I buzzed my secretary real quick and asked her to hold all my calls.
“What kinda answer is that? You don’t know? What do you mean you don’t know? Have you talked to him or have you two been heating up the sheets every chance you get? May I remind you, that was never your problem.”
I would wonder how the hell she’d know about our bedroom business, but that too was a moot question. I know she tells them everything, she’d told me more than once when she was mad at me and went running to them.
“It’s not that it’s… I think he’s still really mad about the divorce you guys.” There must’ve been some kind of communication between the others before they showed up because the three of them looked to Amelia to answer.
“Well of course he’s mad, you asked him for a divorce remember, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?”
“I know, but can’t he see that I’m sorry?”
“We’re talking about a man with lots of pride here. And remember you knew going in that this wasn’t going to be easy.”
“I know but I didn’t know it would be so hard. I missed him so much, but I haven’t been able to tell him. I feel so stupid, why didn’t I listen to him when he told me he wasn’t cheating?”
I sat back in my chair and watched and listened as she told them things she had yet to say to me. Like how she regretted the divorce before the ink was dry.
How she came close to harming herself after she’d lost me. That one made my throat dry and a sick panic started in my chest.
I could’ve lost her and I didn’t even know it. I looked at her face, more precious to me than anything I’d ever owned.
Why did you do it baby? Why did you destroy what we had? I waited for an answer or even a hint of one in their conversation but there was nothing.
All I got was the fact that she’d really believed that I was cheating on her based on those infamous phone calls.
She only came to realize that she should’ve listened to me once it became clear that if I had been cheating I would’ve been with this other woman by now, but six months after the divorce I was still single.
Then she talked about how much she missed me, missed us, and who we used to be. She admitted that it was her failure to become pregnant that had led to her insecurities and made it easier for her to accept that I could be cheating.
“I should’ve known better. Jake is honest to a fault, so why did I let this total stranger fill my head with lies and take their word over that of my husband’s?”