Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 45328 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 227(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45328 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 227(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
That’s one thing I didn’t miss about our marriage. Whenever she got pissed at me there were always six people in our relationship.
She told them every damn thing and I had to contend with them more often than not. I do know from past experience that there’s no point in even pretending I have a side. As far as I can remember I’ve never won an argument when she called in reinforcements.
“What the hell are you crying about?” That shit was giving me knots in my stomach. I never could stand to see her cry.
But shouldn’t I be over this shit already? She wasn’t my concern. She’s the one who chose this, so why should I bear the guilt of it now?
“I asked you a question. Why the fuck are you crying?” I actually felt a chill run down my spine when all she did was shake her head miserably and refuse to look at me.
It wasn’t that so much as it was the look of hurt and defeat on her face. She looked beaten, and though it shouldn’t, it cut me to the quick.
“She’s my secretary, nothing was going on.” And why the fuck did you feel the need to tell her that shit? What’s it to her?
She sniffled but still didn’t say anything and I was sorely tempted to say fuck it, turn around and head back out the door.
“Come here. Stop crying.” I wiped her tears when she got up off the couch and came to stand in front of me, before kissing both her cheeks for good measure.
“Stop it!” I wiped the fresh tears that came from her eyes and pulled her into my chest. “What is it that you want from me Jillian?”
“I want us to get back together.” I looked at her for a few seconds after she said it. Though I’d half expected it, I never thought that hearing those words would infuriate me as much as they did.
“So you think that’s how it works huh? You get to say when we’re through and when we’re not.” I put her away from me and she had the nerve to look shocked and hurt.
She started to speak but I shut her down. “Who says that I want you? Did you stop to think of that? Or is this still the Jillian show? I’ve got news for you sweetheart; you will never own me again.”
“I will never trust you with my heart. I did that shit once and you failed.” I was too pissed to even look at her. How the fuck dare she.
I needed to get out of there to clear my head and think. If I answered her now I’d only end up saying shit that I’d regret.
I moved towards the door and when she made to follow me stopped and turned to look at her. “I have to go. I’ll call you later.”
I gave her at least that much before I left. It was more than she’d given me. Unbelievable. I should’ve known she’d pull a stunt like this. Looks like I’d wasted a damn trip the week before.
Well, except for the new deal. But that had been secondary at best. Now I’m back where I started or worse.
Because now the shit is out in the open and I can’t put it back in the box or pretend it didn’t happen. That she didn’t just turn my world upside down again.
12
I drove around for hours after stopping by the apartment to make sure my dog was taken care of. I didn’t let myself think for the first half hour or so, like I said I needed to calm down.
I drove by the park but didn’t feel like being around people, though I wasn’t exactly safe to drive. In the end I went to my office and sat there with the lights off.
I wanted a drink, but I needed a clear head even more. So I sat there with my head thrown back against the chair and cleared my mind of everything. And saw her.
It took me two hours of back and forth, the pros and cons. Calling myself a fool for not just going home and putting the whole ordeal out of my head and moving on with my life.
But therein laid the problem. What life? Had I really been living these last few months? Or had I just been going through the motions without her there?
I headed back to her place without calling ahead. The lights were off but her car was parked outside the garage door as usual even though I’d told her that it was safer to park inside.
I took my time walking to the door and knocking. As soon as she opened the door I brushed past her and stood in the center of the room.
She walked slowly back to the couch and stood there like she didn’t know what to do next. I could tell from her fidgeting that she was nervous as hell.