Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 94630 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94630 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
“Yeah. There weren’t a lot of people doing me favors back then. It meant a lot.”
“I was only twenty-two years old.” Lashaun moved an inch closer. “Ten years ain’t nothing now. You ever wanna get up, just let me know.”
Okay. Enough memory lane. Jo didn’t care if the woman had slipped Cam food and water in solitary confinement, if she got any closer, Jo would shove those talon-like nails up her nose.
“Uh.” To say Cam looked unsure of how to respond would be to grossly underrate the What do I do now? that was all over his face.
“You ready, Cam?” Jo slipped her arm through his and microwaved her smile before serving it to Lashaun. “How are you?”
“Fine.” Lashaun started her inspection with Jo’s toes and made a slow journey up to the top of her head. “You Cam’s girl?”
“Yeah,” Cam said before Jo could respond. “This is my girlfriend, Jo.”
It would never get old. Hearing him claim her that way with that word, it might always feel like Christmas and the lottery all rolled up and tied into one Cam-shaped bow.
“My girl’s hungry, so we’re gonna get out of here.” Cam brushed a few strands of hair behind Jo’s ear before giving Lashaun one more smile. “Thanks again.”
A few minutes later, Jo glanced at Cam’s strong profile in the dimly lit car. Same high cheekbones. Same lips, sculpted and full. Same will-they-ever-end lashes. He looked like her Cam, but she couldn’t help but feel like she had lost a part of him over the last few hours in that skating rink. Or more accurately, realized that she’d never had him at all.
“Was it that bad?” Cam spared her a glance, merging onto the interstate that would take them to the cottage. “I thought it’d be fun. Next time we can do something else. Your choice.”
“It was fun.” Jo turned her body toward him as much as the seat belt would allow.
“If this is how you respond to fun, I’d hate to see you after the dentist.”
“Sorry. I’m just thinking.”
“An occupational hazard of being brilliant, I hear. Wanna share?”
“It’s ironic that you’d say that since I wondered the same thing about you. Do you want to share?”
“Should I be following you? Like actually know what you’re talking about?”
“Tonight was…eye-opening.”
“Because I finally found something you suck at?”
“Cam, I’m serious. Tonight I realized just how much you’ve held back from us. From me.”
Cam puckered his brows until they almost touched in a grumpy kiss on his forehead.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s like you appeared at twelve years old, and I didn’t bother to ask where you’d been or what your life had been like before. I just took it all at face value and dragged you into our life.”
“We were twelve, Jo. I didn’t expect you to psychoanalyze me.”
“Even later, I didn’t probe. Maybe I was just so glad to have you, I didn’t ask about your past.”
“And maybe I was so glad to leave my past behind, I didn’t want to talk about it.”
“I didn’t even know you could skate like that. You thanked Lashaun like she’d been this important person to you at one time, and I’d never heard of her. I thought you were white.”
Cam laughed, sending a half-exasperated glance her way.
“I am white. I’m just also black, Puerto Rican, and no telling what else. I don’t really think about it.”
“I should know these things.”
“I don’t know every detail of your life. No one does.”
“These are not details, Cam. These are essentials. I want your essentials.”
Though his eyes remained straight ahead, she felt like he was exposing something to her he’d been holding back.
“What’s essential is that I want to be with you. Now.”
Jo allowed the words to settle onto her heart. To water the seeds of security they’d been planting over the last few days. Years of rejection didn’t disappear in two days, but Cam’s openness was helping.
And yet, being herself, she had to press for more. It was in her blood.
“Just now?”
“Jo, we’ve been together a grand total of two days. Give this thing time to unfold a little. Don’t just snap it open like some dollar store fan.”
Jo let her head drop back against the headrest. She was handling this all wrong. She’d hidden so much behind this careful mask for years, and at the first sign that she might get somewhere with him, she spilled her feelings everywhere.
“I didn’t mean to pressure you or to be all ‘define the relationship’ already.”
“I don’t mind defining the relationship. I want to be with you.” Cam shifted his eyes from the road long enough to meet hers, steady and sure. “Period.”
So much for holding back. That look, that moment, snapped the restraints Jo had imposed on herself.
“In that case, you should know that I want to give you everything. I know we’ve only been together for two days, but you know I’ve had…feelings for you for a long time. I’ve spent over half my life holding them back. I’m ready to spill them all over you.”