Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 34225 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 171(@200wpm)___ 137(@250wpm)___ 114(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 34225 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 171(@200wpm)___ 137(@250wpm)___ 114(@300wpm)
What if he had told me yesterday? I never would have had this experience because I would have turned it down to protect my heart.
He knew that. That’s why he didn’t tell me. He’s a smart man. Kind of manipulative, but smart. I sigh. Now… Now I know. I know things I didn’t before. I know I don’t want to go home. I know I never want to sleep without him. I’ve never slept with another human being in my life. Hell, I’ve never even slept with Gabriel. But I want to, and the thought of him dropping me off at my house makes me feel as sick as he’s told me it makes him feel.
I want to curl up in his arms. I want him to hold me forever like he has today. I also want him to put his penis in me. After what he did earlier with his mouth, I’m more curious than ever.
Actually, until today, the only times I’ve ever been curious about sex were times I was with him. Times when he’s sat next to me at the Dungeon and colored with me or talked to me. I know I was always quiet and shy and nervous around him, but I still looked forward to every moment.
The thought of telling my parents I’m Little makes bile rise into my throat. I know that’s not a wild concept. Plenty of Littles I’ve met have told me no one outside of the club knows they’re Little.
The thing is most of them don’t have parents like mine. Snooty parents who are more concerned with their social standing than anything else. Do my parents even love each other? I have no idea. I wonder if they married because it was the expected thing to do. It’s what they want me to do.
I won’t. I’ve known I won’t marry some guy they pick out for me for a long time. I’ve put off telling them it’s never going to happen for a while, but that doesn’t change the fact that I would never have done so.
And now, I know what it feels like to be loved to pieces. I would never settle for less. Not in a million years. I would also never settle for vanilla. I cringe at the thought of spending my life with a man who knows nothing about being a Daddy and has no idea how to meet my needs.
I’m wearing an outfit a toddler would wear, and I’m more comfortable in it than I’ve ever been in my life. I love the dresses I keep in my secret storage unit in the basement of my apartment building. They have made me happy for a long time. But this is different.
I’ve spent the day in a dress so short that I can crawl in it without tripping over it with my knees. The bloomers that cover my diaper are poofy and cute. Even the diaper itself has surprised me. The bulk of it constantly reminds me that I’m in my youngest headspace.
Throughout the day, I’ve come to realize that wearing a diaper helps me maintain a constant state of regression. It solidifies in my head that I don’t have to make choices or decisions. I don’t have to realize it’s noon and fix myself a meal. All I have to do is accept a bottle when Daddy presents it, play with toys when he sets me in front of them, and nap when he puts me in my crib.
It’s freeing in a way I’ve never understood before today. I’ve enjoyed my time here. Some of the parts have been stressful as I learned new things about myself and this lifestyle, but already I feel better and more confident this is a good fit for me.
Daddy knows this. He’s been watching me closely for a long time. He suspected I would enjoy a more regressed state. Or has he simply pushed this on me because he wants me to go to Regression Island with him?
I cringe. Is that what has happened? Has he tricked me into wanting something I’d only been marginally familiar with twelve hours ago? Has he manipulated me because he wants me to go to the island with him? That would be really mean, and I don’t think Daddy is mean.
Maybe he should have told me he would be moving soon, but I can understand why he didn’t. And he didn’t lie to me when I flat out asked him. This was why he suggested several times that I should be open with my parents. He knows it wouldn’t be possible to move to the island and keep this a secret.
This—my preference for a kink they probably know nothing about. They would not understand. I try to picture what it would be like to tell them.