Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80199 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80199 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
“That you’re the star quarterback and team captain?”
“Yeah, but that’s different. I’m not trying to prove anything. That stuff just comes naturally, I guess. I didn’t ask for it.”
“You’re right; it’s not the same.” I felt guilty pointing it out.
He was quiet a beat before he said, “Spencer swore he wouldn’t tell anyone until I was ready, and I know I can trust him.”
“How did that feel? To tell someone else in your life?”
“Like a relief. He gets it because his parents have lots of expectations too.”
It wasn’t the first time I felt grateful to have Mom in my corner, and it wouldn’t be the last.
“Do you think eventually you could tell Spencer about…”
“About us?” he blurted in an alarmed voice.
“No, that you’re attracted to guys.” I wouldn’t say the word gay until he was ready.
“I don’t know… You have to understand how toxic it feels in the locker room sometimes. Even the coach says dumb shit, like calling us girls if we mess up.”
“Oh, I can only imagine misogyny and homophobia run rampant,” I replied, my stomach contracting painfully. “I only meant telling Spencer because he’s your best friend. That would be a start. It might help you feel better to get it out.”
“Yeah, but then I’d always be waiting for the ball to drop.”
“And you don’t feel that way about the cancer thing?”
“Of course I do. But sometimes the anxiety about it doesn’t feel worth it. Sometimes I just want to blurt it out to my teammates—if I didn’t think it would get back to my parents. It sucks that my dad and Coach go way back.”
And that his dad had basically interfered in his school life for years, not that he needed reminding.
“Damn, that does suck.”
“Right? Sometimes Dad knows team stuff before I do.”
“I’m sorry. Thanks for confiding in me.”
It certainly helped explain why Henry was so uptight about certain things. Even living in a trailer park and sharing a room with my sister paled in comparison.
“Thanks for listening. Night, Lark.”
“Night, Henners.”
18
HENRY
Lark and I talked Thursday night too, and it started in much the same way, with a math problem that turned fairly quickly to sharing what happened in our lives after the hospital stay—we’d both resumed school after going into remission, and I returned to playing sports, while Lark had returned to dance. He was bullied quite a bit but made it through graduation with his friend Pete, who lived nearby. Damn, that really sucked to hear, but I was glad he had someone in his corner.
Talking to him calmed me, while also making me wonder if maybe he felt the same. Did he really need my help with pre-calc tonight, or did he just want to talk too?
On Friday, when I saw him on campus between classes, I felt more emboldened to greet him in front of my friends. I didn’t want him to think our friendship was a secret, even if the other stuff was.
“What’s up with you and that scholarship kid?” Flash asked me at lunch.
“He has a name, you asswipe,” I said through clenched teeth. “It’s Lark.”
“Okay, Lark, whatever.” He rolled his eyes. “So what’s up with the two of you?”
God, seriously? What the fuck did it matter?
“You mean because we’re friendly? I used to know him, remember? He’s a cool guy.”
“Have you ever seen him in a tutu?” A-Train asked.
“No, but I have seen you in one,” I replied, recalling how we’d all flipped through photos on his phone last summer. “Didn’t you wear one for a talent show in high school where you all dressed in drag?”
Spencer barked out a laugh as A-Train’s cheeks burnished red. “Screw you.”
“No thanks. I like my hookups to be less bulky.”
“You’re on fire today,” Spencer said as we high-fived.
“Like you even hook up,” A-Train countered, but the joke fell flat and I was glad for it.
“I heard Scholarship Boy lives in a trailer park,” Flash said right before stuffing pizza in his mouth.
“Seriously? Stop spreading rumors,” I said because it bothered me, and for more than one reason. Was that why he didn’t want me to drive him home? “And besides, who cares?” Couldn’t they see they were acting just like their parents when it came to dollar signs and status? The very thing they kept complaining about.
Spencer said, “Some of them are decked out. You’d probably be living in one if you didn’t have your daddy’s money,” and God, I could’ve hugged him for that.
“As long as I could deck it out,” Flash replied, but it just became noise as I looked down at the message that’d come through on my phone from Lark. Speak of the devil.
I hate to ask, but…think you could meet for some tutoring? Assignment is due end of day, and I’m stuck on the last problem.
I met his gaze across the room, then typed: How about now?