Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
I look back through the glass in a state of total shock.
‘We should get coffee,’ Elizabeth suggests in an attempt to keep me busy while the doctors work on Ava.
I look down at each of my children in turn, Maddie first, her face tear-stained and red, and then Jacob. He’s looking up at me, squeezing my big hand in his small one. They realign me, bring me back to where I should be. I stand taller and swallow down my shock. ‘Yes, let’s get something to drink while the doctors do what they need to.’
‘Well, what are they doing?’ Maddie looks back to Ava’s room, and I quickly pull her back around, giving her a warning look. ‘Helping Mum.’ It takes everything in me not to look back myself. What I’ve already seen will haunt me for ever.
*
After I force the kids to have some water and a sandwich, we go back to the ward in silence, my mind caught between dread and hope. I have no idea what I should be bracing myself for, what I should expect. And that scares me to death. The unknown. The lack of control.
When we arrive at Ava’s room, the doctor is outside making notes. He looks up and smiles mildly, and the hope takes over the dread. ‘She’s settled,’ he says. ‘Her eyes are open, she is perfectly aware of her surroundings, and she told me her name and date of birth.’
‘Oh, thank God.’ Elizabeth grabs my arm and squeezes, while I have to close my eyes to stop the tears of relief escaping.
Once I’m sure they’re under control, I look down at my smiling babies. ‘What did I tell you?’ I ask them seriously. ‘Always listen to your dad, you got that?’ They both nod, cuddling into my chest as I mentally yell at myself for ever doubting it. I knew she wouldn’t leave me. I knew she’d fight for me and the kids.
‘She’s just having some water and getting a few tubes removed,’ the doctor says. ‘We can go back in once the nurse has taken her vitals. I just need to run a few more tests, but you’re welcome to join me in the room.’
‘Thank you,’ I breathe, squeezing the kids into me. ‘Thank you so much.’
‘You’re welcome, Mr Ward.’ He looks to the door when it opens and a nurse exits. ‘Shall we?’
I take a deep breath, suddenly a bit apprehensive. I haven’t looked into my wife’s eyes for nearly two days, and the thought of doing it now is making me a pathetic, nervous fool. What’s wrong with me?
The nurse looks to Elizabeth as she passes us and smiles. ‘She’s asking for her mum.’
Elizabeth’s hand goes to her chest on a mild whimper as she takes the lead, rushing to her daughter’s bedside. A small part of me is happy for her. For the most part, I’m hurt that she hasn’t asked for me, her husband, but I quickly put the silly slight aside and follow Elizabeth in with the children. I find my mother-in-law hunched over Ava on the bed, trying to hug her as best she can around the wires and tubes. I can hear the quiet sobs, and when I hear Ava’s voice, I smile, not just because she sounds like my wife, if a little rough in the throat, but because she sounds totally with it.
‘My head hurts,’ she complains.
‘Oh, darling. Of course it hurts.’ Elizabeth’s light laugh as she speaks is loaded with joy. ‘Look who’s here.’ She moves away from Ava, opening up a direct path to me and the twins.
I move forward, desperate to look into those eyes, to touch her and feel her respond, even if it’s just a light squeeze of my hand. I’ve missed her so much. But when our eyes connect, Ava frowns, flicking her gaze to the children and then back to me. I stop, watching carefully as she seems to assess us. Where’s the sparkle in those eyes I love so much? Where’s the love? My heart slows to a faint thud in my chest, my joy fading with it. Something isn’t right.
‘Ava, do you know who this is?’ the doctor asks warily.
My head swings towards him in horror. ‘Of course she does,’ I blurt. What is he suggesting?
The doctor ignores me and moves closer to Ava, whose eyes are still passing continuously between me and the kids. Still no sparkle. Still no love. ‘Ava, tell me your full name.’
She doesn’t hesitate. ‘Ava O’Shea.’
I recoil, not quite sure what to make of this.
The doctor flicks a glance towards me. I don’t know what to make of his look, either. ‘Ava, do you know who this man is?’
‘What?’ I blurt, my horror growing.
That horror reaches unspeakable heights when my wife slowly starts to shake her head. ‘No.’