Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65444 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65444 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
“What’s that?”
“I’m also sorry.” I pull in a breath and pause. Feeling his eyes on me. “I’m sorry for the way I made you feel. Giving Samuel up for adoption was a choice we made together, and I’m sorry for making you feel like you forced me to do it. It wasn’t fair of me to make you feel that way back then, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me” I say, feeling his arms tighten as my eyes slide closed and I fall asleep not hearing his mutter.
“Fuck me.”
“Oh, my God. Look at that one,” Aubrey yells, pointing out into the water as a large humpback whale breaches the surface off the side of the boat. Hunter and Steven, both standing next to her, roll their eyes, not as excited as she is, because it’s not the first whale we’ve seen since we’ve been out, but the twentieth. Not that that has lessened Aubrey’s enthusiasm. She’s had the same reaction every time it’s happened.
“Isn’t it so cool, Shel?” Aubrey breathes, turning her smiling face to me. Without thinking, I rest my palm against her cheek that is pink from the cold, thinking she looks more beautiful and happier than I’ve ever seen her before, and it’s all because she’s doing something she obviously loves with people she cares about.
“It’s very cool, gorgeous,” I agree, and her face softens. Her eyes go to her dad, who is standing behind me, and I realize I used his nickname for her. My hand drops away, and she looks back out at the water without another word. It leaves me wishing I wouldn’t have said anything.
“It’s all good, baby. Relax,” Zach says behind me, and I nod then see Aubrey’s lips tip up, and my body loosens as I lean back into Zach’s hold, letting out a long breath. “She adores you. So does Steven. You have nothing to worry about.” He whispers against the shell of my ear.
“Okay,” I agree, then look at Hunter and see him laughing with Steven. I always wanted more kids. I wanted Hunter to grow up with siblings. I wanted him to have what I didn’t have, but after his birth, Max said he didn’t want any more children, and I didn’t fight him. I didn’t want to force him into something that would, in the long run, cause problems for us. It used to make me sad to think Hunter wouldn’t have brothers or sisters, but standing here, I hope and pray these kinds of moments are ones he can look forward to, ones he’ll look back on happily as he gets older.
“How about we go in and get some hot chocolate?” I suggest a few minutes later, when there seems to be a lull in the whale activity.
“Sounds good to me,” Zach says, giving my waist a squeeze before taking my hand and leading the kids and me inside the ship, where they have a small concession stand with drinks and food. After watching Zach pay for our drinks, I look around and find Steven and Aubrey seated at a table, drinking their hot cocoa, and Hunter off to the side, looking out one of the large viewing windows, seemingly lost in thought. He’s been okay, but I know what is happening between his father and me is taking a toll on him, and he’s refused to talk to me about it.
“I’ll be back,” I tell Zach, and his eyes go over my head to where Hunter is standing. He nods in understanding then leans down kissing my forehead. Giving a small smile to the girl behind the counter, I pick up my hot cocoa and head for Hunter.
“Are you okay, kiddo?” I ask when I’m close, but his eyes don’t come to me when he answers.
“I wish Dad could have been here,” he says quietly, and my stomach clenches. Wrapping my arm around his shoulders, I rest the side of my head to his.
“Maybe you two can plan a trip when he comes to see you. I bet he’d like doing something like this with you.”
“Maybe.” He shrugs.
“I know it may not seem like it right now, but everything will be okay.” I bite my lip, hoping I’m right.
“Okay, Mom,” he replies, not sounding convinced.
“Send him a picture,” I say, and his body stiffens, but I continue on like I didn’t notice, even though his reaction pisses me off at Max all over again. “Tell him what you’re doing and that you’d like to do it with him sometime.”
“Sure,” he agrees, but I know he won’t. When we first got to town, his cell phone, which I used to hate, was always in his hand. Now, most days I find it laying around here or there, not even charged. Max was supposed to come last month then canceled last minute not calling me but telling the lawyer, proving he’s a dick.