Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 81272 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81272 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Before I had the chance to bring it up, he asked, “So you and blondy…at first you said it wasn’t serious, but I know you. I’ve never seen you look at someone the way you look at him.”
“The not-serious thing is more for him.”
“Well, that’s shitty. He doesn’t appreciate you?”
“No, it’s not that.” I pushed harder, rode faster, fighting to speak through my shortness of breath. “He’s been hurt, and he’s protecting himself. Linc appreciates who I am and what we have.”
Jude looked down, began peeling the plastic off his water bottle. “You’re in love with him?”
“Yeah.” It wasn’t a truth I could deny. Not to Jude. Maybe not to anyone.
“It hasn’t been that long.”
“So? I probably loved him before we got together.” I’d told Linc I didn’t. Fuck, I’d told myself I didn’t, but I was pretty sure I had. There had always been something special about Linc—the way he made me laugh, the way I felt when we were together, when I was fucking him and praising him. Like I was taking care of something that was mine.
“Wow…you’ve never been in love before. I guess that means I better get to know him a little better, huh?” Jude looked up at me and gave me a sort of half grin, like he did. He was a good guy. He’d been by my side for a long time; he hadn’t been great about Linc, though I didn’t know why. But knowing Linc was important to me would make him important to Jude as well.
“Thanks. It would mean a lot to both of us. How are you doing? With the breakup, I mean.” My words were choppy due to my exertion.
He shrugged. “Eh. I’m fine. You know how I am.”
“Break up anytime it gets serious?”
“Yep. Only relationship I’ve ever had that lasted is you.”
His words hit me in a strange way, rough against my skin. It had to be because of how he worded it, and because of Linc’s insistence that Jude was bi-curious and interested in me. That couldn’t be possible. Jude had never shown any interest in being with men. He was my best friend. Had been my best friend all my life. I’d know if he had feelings for me. Suddenly, I felt almost guilty for telling him how I felt about Linc.
“You’re being quiet. I meant friendship, you shithead.” Jude balled up his towel and threw it at me, but missed. “I’ve only ever been with women…and I like them quite a lot.” Another half grin.
“I know.” But suddenly I wasn’t sure I did. He also hadn’t said he was straight, just that he hadn’t ever been with anyone but women. “You know you can always talk to me about anything, right?”
“Yes, Doctor Alexander. How much do I owe you for this visit?”
“Nothing, since you haven’t told me anything yet,” I teased.
“I wish I had another towel to throw at you. I wouldn’t miss this time.”
“I’m sorry your aim sucks.”
“Go hang out with your boyfriend.”
I slowed the bike, even though my workout wasn’t quite finished. But I still had therapy today, so I didn’t want to overdo it. “I’m serious, Jude. Yes, you and your girlfriend broke up. I know that sucks, but you said yourself you weren’t serious. What’s going on with you?”
He paused, dropped the bottle, and looked down, began to wring his hands. “I don’t know, Rush. But something is. I just… I don’t feel right. Been feeling this way for a few months now. I’m not doing as much, I quit my job. I just feel…restless.”
Guilt churned in my chest, picking up speed and becoming a tornado beneath my skin. I’d been a shitty friend to Jude. Getting off the bike, I walked over and sat beside him against the wall.
“You stink,” he teased.
“You don’t smell so good yourself,” I tossed back. “And…it sounds like maybe you’re depressed.”
He shook his head. “That’s dumb. I don’t have a reason to be depressed.”
I nudged him awkwardly with my braced arm. “You don’t have to have a reason to be depressed. People rarely do. It’s an illness like any other.”
“Yeah, I guess. I just feel sort of lost, and I don’t know why. I was thinking being here with you would help. You’re the most important person in my life, besides my dad, but in some ways, it’s making things worse. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I’m oddly jealous of Lincoln—in case you couldn’t tell.”
Well shit. I didn’t know why it surprised me that he came out and said that. Jude was one of the most honest people I knew.
“Why?”
“I haven’t quite figured that part out yet. It sucks. And it’s weird. Thanks for that.”
I chuckled softly. “You’re my best friend. You always have been and you always will be. Linc won’t change that. He would never want to, and I’d never allow it.”