What the Heart Wants – Love With Strings Read Online Nikki Ash

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Taboo Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 119093 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
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Bree begged me to say something, to do something, but I couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. A million thoughts were running through my head with just as many words I wanted to say, but not a single one came out of my mouth.

So instead, I let my best friend walk out the door. Then, after calling Beatrice so she could take the kids, I spent the next thirty-six hours trying to comfort Bree. At the same time, she cried in my arms, asking me heartbreaking questions like if Hayden left because of the kids, or if she did something wrong. She questioned everything about herself, allowing her insecurities to get the better of her. Had Hayden been anywhere near me, I would’ve punched him in his face for doing what he did, making her feel that way.

I don’t know why he walked away, but I’m sure as hell going to get some damn answers…which is why, instead of going in to work, I’m sitting on my couch, waiting for him to show up.

At nine o’clock on the dot, he walks through the door, his steps faltering the second he sees me sitting, waiting.

“You were supposed to be at work,” he says, his tone devoid of all emotion.

“That’s all you have to say to me?” I stalk toward him. “A lifetime of friendship and that’s all you have to say?” I get in his face, and he backs up against the wall, showing zero emotion. “Fuck work. I’d say my best friend walking away is a bit more important than going to work.” I cage him in, and we both stand like this for several seconds—me, trying to get ahold of myself so I can get some answers, and him, waiting for me to speak.

When I’m finally calm enough to speak, I say, “She spent the last day and a half crying.” Hayden at least has the decency to flinch before schooling his features.

“She thinks she did something wrong. She questioned her weight, if she’s good enough in bed, if she’s pretty enough. Then she moved on to her kids, asking if they were behaved enough, or if maybe it’s because you want your own. She said she’d give us however many kids we wanted. After that, she wondered if maybe she’s not lovable. Her mom and dad didn’t love her enough to stay. From there, she questioned if she was destined to always be left behind. Because you know, everyone she’s loved has either left or died.”

I look Hayden in the eyes, and despite him refusing to show any emotions, I can see it in his features, my words are killing him inside, yet he did this. He caused this. And he won’t tell me why.

“Say something!” I slam my fist against the wall because I have so much anger built up, but I’d never touch Hayden, not violently.

When he doesn’t say a damn word, I continue. “She was so distraught I had to have Beatrice take the kids for the rest of the weekend. She barely slept, wouldn’t eat, just fucking cried. Oh,” I say with a bitter laugh, remembering something else. “Then she apologized. Our sweet, too damn good for us fiancée apologized for being the reason I lost you as well.”

When he finally speaks, the words that come out of his mouth have me wanting to kill him. “I need to pack my shit, so if you wouldn’t mind backing up so I can do that, I’d appreciate it.”

“You’d appreciate it?” I mock, close to losing my shit. “What the fuck is going on, Hayden?” With shaky hands, I cup the sides of his face. “Talk to me, please.”

Liquid emotion shines in his glassy eyes, but he doesn’t say anything, and just when I think he’s never going to, he speaks. “Love her enough for us both, please,” he chokes out, his gaze finally meeting mine. “Remind her every day how perfect she is, that she deserves to be loved, and…” He closes his eyes for a moment, and when a single tear escapes from under his lashes, trailing down his cheek, I know this isn’t what he wants. He’s doing this for a reason—one he won’t disclose. “Please take care of her and the kids,” he says, his eyes meeting mine once again. “Give them the entire world. She’ll get past this. She’ll get over me because she has you.”

“Hayden,” I say. “Whatever’s going on…”

“Please don’t,” he begs, shaking his head. “Please let me walk away. It’s hard enough as it is. Just know that it’s nothing either of you or those amazing kids did. This is on me.”

He slides out and around me, and I stand where I am, watching him go to his room. I want to yell and scream and make demands, but I don’t because deep down, I know he’s not walking away because he doesn’t love us… He’s walking away because he does.


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