Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 108124 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 432(@250wpm)___ 360(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108124 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 432(@250wpm)___ 360(@300wpm)
“I’ve slept with one man since Tanner. He was a nice guy. Luke. Sort of a friend with benefits—not someone I saw myself with long term.” I shrugged. “It’s not easy to find someone you’re compatible with, want to have sex with, and who’d make a good role model for Alex. It’s nearly impossible to find all three, actually. I certainly haven’t brought anyone I’ve dated around my son, though. I wouldn’t do that unless it was serious.”
“Yeah. That’s smart.”
I lifted my chin. “What about you? I’m sure you have no problem finding women to pass the time with. You probably have the opposite problem I do. I mean, how do you choose when you can have anyone you want?”
My face felt hot as it hit me that I was bracing for his answer. This jealousy was eye-opening—and uncomfortable.
“It’s not that simple,” he answered.
“Yeah, I would imagine it’s hard to pick.” I chuckled through gritted teeth.
“That’s not what I meant, Presley.” He blew out a frustrated breath. “Do you have any idea how sucky it is to never know if someone wants to be with you because of who you are as a person, or just the fact that you’re a famous athlete? Some women just want to say they fucked the Broncos’ quarterback. I mean, sure, I’m not gonna complain too much. I don’t have any problem finding someone attractive to have sex with whenever I need it, but that gets old real fast. When it’s too easy, it’s just not…invigorating, you know?”
His eyes met mine, and his stare burned the damn skin off my arms.
“I suppose I can understand that,” I whispered.
Levi rubbed his index finger along the rim of his empty shot glass. “When I was younger and first starting out in the NFL…yeah, the sex aspect was exciting because it was new. I didn’t care as much about what was up here back then.” He pointed to his head. “You know? But as I get older, I need more mental stimulation to get me off. Sometimes you just want to have a fucking conversation with someone, or hang out without having sex and just watch a movie. Everyone has this impression of what being with me is like, and I always feel pressured not to disappoint them. Sometimes all I want to do is to just fucking be—just talk, or sit in comfortable silence with someone I trust.” He sighed. “That’s not easy to find at all.”
What he’d just said hit me in the feels, but I tried not to show it. Instead I joked, “You poor baby. It must be so hard being you.”
He bent his head back in laughter. “I know. Woe is me, right?”
“I’m kidding,” I said. “Honestly, I never gave much thought to how difficult it would be for someone in your shoes to trust. I always assumed you had the pick of the litter. But I guess that’s just on the surface, huh?”
“You know how when you were a kid and got birthday money to go to the toy store, you couldn’t figure out what to get? You had enough to get almost anything in the place, but for some reason because you had the money that day, there was nothing you wanted? That’s sort of what it’s like. It’s too easy sometimes. I like a challenge. At the same time, if I found her now—that special person—how would I know she’d want to be with me if I wasn’t Levi Miller?”
As much as I’d teased him a minute earlier, I did feel bad that he saw things this way. It must suck to never know who to trust or who might be using you.
“Do you sometimes regret your career?”
He bounced his head back and forth silently. “That’s tough to say. I don’t regret getting to play for a living. In that sense, I’m living the dream. But I could do without some of the other bullshit that goes with it. The problem is, you can’t have it both ways, and it’s futile to think about now anyway.”
“Yeah.”
“But I do know the right person for me would have to be someone who doesn’t give a shit about Levi Miller the quarterback. Because a career in the NFL has a shelf life. As my brother knows all too well, it can end in an instant.”
The mention of Tanner sent a wave of guilt through me. I was enjoying this intimate conversation with his brother a little too much right now.
Levi once again looked me straight in the eyes. “Part of my negative feelings toward you in the beginning were because I thought you’d left Tanner when things got bad—even though that never lined up with the way I remembered you, the type of person I believed you were. I’m sorry for making assumptions.”