Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 121764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Nothing was okay.
I wasn’t sure it ever would be again.
With My Life
Jaxson
I walked into the morning skate the next day with my chin held high.
I knew Vince would have loved to have seen me with my tail between my legs, with my head hanging. But I refused.
I wasn’t sorry.
I wasn’t sorry for the way I felt about Grace, for the way she felt about me, or for anything we’d done. The invasion of our privacy was against our will, and the only thing I was mildly apologetic for was that we couldn’t be the ones to tell Vince and everyone else about us. I hated that they found out this way, but again, that wasn’t on me.
The locker room buzz died in an instant when I walked through the door. I had on headphones, but nothing playing in them. I just didn’t want to field questions — especially not after spending all fucking day and night with the public relations team doing just that.
After Grace and Vince left, I had screamed. I’d thrown shit and stormed around like a beast until my rage could simmer. Then, I’d called coach, asking him where he needed me to be and what I needed to do to get this shit handled.
It wasn’t as easy as I would have liked. I wished we could threaten the news outlets with lawsuits, but they hadn’t leaked anything that was in the realm of revenge porn. It was all relatively wholesome content — other than the fact that they kept replaying the video where Grace had asked me to tell her something good, and I’d responded with my stupid remark about her going down on me.
Every time I thought about it, I had to pinch my eyes shut and force a breath. I was murderous thinking how many people had seen something meant for only us.
Still, I had to focus on what I could control — which wasn’t much. I had the team working on a statement, one I wanted to give as soon as I talked to Grace and got her permission.
As much as it hurt to know I’d let my team down, it hurt worse to think of the pain I knew she was in.
And I couldn’t even reach her — because she didn’t have her fucking phone.
I didn’t say a word or look at anyone in that locker room as I got dressed for our morning skate. We were facing off against New York tonight, and I had to find a way to get focused. Because if there was one way to make it up to my teammates, it was to show up and help us win a fucking game.
Tomorrow, we’d be flying to Atlanta for our first away matchup. My chest was tight with the resolve to get this all figured out before then.
I refused to leave Grace without her knowing that this changed nothing for me.
I still wanted her. I would give up all of it for her.
I just hoped she felt the same.
It killed me not knowing what was going through her head right now. I also hated that I couldn’t be there to hold her hand as we faced her parents — together. If I were her father, I’d want to kill me.
This wasn’t the way any of it was supposed to happen.
I jumped when a hand squeezed my shoulder, and I slid my headphones off one ear, turning to find Will and Carter behind me. Carter had a solemn smile, and Will wore his signature hard ass expression, but even that was tinged with sadness.
“You good?” Daddy P asked.
“No,” I answered honestly. “But I’m ready to play.”
He nodded, satisfied with the answer. Carter, on the other hand, looked like he wanted to hug me. I turned and slid my headphones back into place just in case he actually planned to.
Vince showed up late, looking like he’d slept just as poorly as I had. He froze at the sight of me, like he was surprised I showed up. All of our teammates watched us with bated breath, but Vince just scowled and stormed to his locker as I finished up and made my way out to the ice.
I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to squash all this shit. I hated the way he looked at me, like I’d double-crossed him, like I’d gone from one of his best friends to his number one enemy overnight. He was like a brother to me — and I didn’t know if I’d ever get the chance to make it right.
But for now, we had a game to focus on.
The morning skate before a match was always chill. It was a way to get loose and ready, and we were usually rambunctious during it. We’d chirp each other and play stupid games on the ice to shake off all the nerves.