Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 91560 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91560 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
The thing about Tiana is there are always consequences. She’s not the kind of girl who can just be chill and have fun. She’s got to try to stake a claim. The sort of person who doesn’t know when enough is enough. She’ll never actually be satisfied because she’ll always be looking for more.
I hate that I’ve even thought enough about her to figure that out. Yet another reason to toss back the rest of my beer in hopes it will blunt the razor-sharp anger that’s been simmering in me all day.
She asked me something, didn’t she? Oh, right. “Where am I? I’m right here. You’re the one with her hands in my hair—you should know.” I then duck out of the way, moving my head so she’ll lose her grip on me. Her bottom lip sticks out far in an epic pout. She either doesn’t fucking get it or she refuses to. I wouldn’t be surprised either way.
“Could you grab me another beer?” Carter holds up his empty bottle, dangling it a little bit from two fingers. “And after that, maybe I can get a scalp massage.”
“Get fucked, Carter,” she sneers before stalking away, shaking her head.
“That got rid of her.” Carter grins my way, giving me a thumbs up, and I can almost muster a laugh. Almost. We’re surrounded by people, half drunk, supposedly enjoying ourselves at another house party. I honestly don’t even remember whose house this is. I only know I need to drink more if I’m going to get through it.
I could’ve stayed home. I probably should have, all things considered, because I’m in a foul mood and have been since seeing Maya today. Fuck me, why does she have to be in my head? No amount of booze can get her out of it. And I’m trying. I really am.
“I wonder if those twins will show up tonight,” Carter muses. I don’t think I’ve ever envied him like I do now, as he sits there without a care in the world beyond when he’s going to get his dick wet and who the lucky girl will be. That’s all life is for him. He doesn’t have this burning, seething darkness threatening to swallow him whole. What I wouldn’t give to trade places with him. Then he could be the one sitting here, regretting the choice of coming out tonight. Wondering if something will happen to make it all worthwhile.
“Lucky bastard.” Carter nods at something happening behind me—I turn in the chair, my eyes narrowed in the darkness. Some guy and some girl, neither of whom I can see well enough to identify, are going at it in the corner. He has her pinned with one of her legs wrapped around his thigh, and the motion of his arm tells me he could very well be fingering her. Her hands run over his back, grabbing his ass, clutching his neck. Soon there are cheers all around us, with people encouraging them, instructing him, telling her what a lucky girl she is. Carter’s laughter rings out with all the other noise, but I can’t bring myself to laugh. I can’t feel anything. Isn’t that what I was going for? Drinking until I became numb?
“Oh, that’s charming.” Briggs laughs as he walks past, holding Wren’s hand. Of course. Wherever there’s one, there’s the other. He drops into a chair next to mine and Wren perches in his lap, one arm around his neck. He looks like a man on top of the world. Like there’s nothing he wants or needs. Completely content.
I’ve never seen him like this except when he’s with her. I have to remind myself how good it is to see him looking happy whenever my own bitterness threatens to swallow me whole.
“I just wish I understood.” Wren shakes her head, then touches it to Briggs’s shoulder. “What did I do wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. She’s probably just jealous,” he offers. The arm he has around her visibly tightens.
“I only want to be there for her. Why is she putting up all these roadblocks?”
I don’t need to ask who they’re talking about, because life itself has basically decided to fuck with me in every way possible. It’s not bad enough I can’t stop thinking of Maya, wondering about Maya, remembering the ghostly web of Maya’s scars. No, I have to hear about her, too. There is no escaping her.
Briggs holds her close, nuzzling her neck. Fuck, I can’t stand this. I’m not jealous—really, nowhere close. At the same time, do I need to be reminded every minute how happy they are? Why is it so easy for them? Why do they get to be together? It’s like nothing else in the whole world matters to either of them but each other. I don’t know if I wish I could be like them or if I pity them.