Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 54721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 274(@200wpm)___ 219(@250wpm)___ 182(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 274(@200wpm)___ 219(@250wpm)___ 182(@300wpm)
Smiling to myself, I head into the master bedroom and lock the door behind me.
CHAPTER 4
Simone
“This is completely stupid, Simone.”
I glance from the kitchen table over to the front door where Malik is installing a new alarm panel. My attention slides back to Anna sitting across from me and she grins in amusement. He’s been grumbling since he got here over an hour ago to change the locks and alarm panel.
Malik isn’t happy I’m not staying with him and Anna. Of course, he’s not happy I’m pursuing my husband, but he’s never going to deny me the chance to pursue my dreams.
And Van is my dream.
“You know he can just get these changed again,” Malik says as he bends over a laptop resting on the arm of the couch.
“He won’t,” I say with the utmost confidence. I know Van well. This will piss him off, frustrate him to no end, but he won’t bother changing it back. He knows I’ll just change it back again and he doesn’t have the time or energy to battle me on this.
Part of me feels guilty as I’m not doing this to make him mad or even to poke him into dealing with me. I simply can’t be constrained to the house. I need to be able to run errands, see my brother and go to a Titans game to root for my husband. I can’t be a prisoner.
Anna shakes her head as her fingers play with the rim of her coffee cup. “I still don’t understand how it came to this.”
I love my sister-in-law very much, just as I love Malik. But as much as I love them, I love Van more and I’ll never divulge his secrets. His terror and shame stemming from Arco’s biography is private. It’s not something he’s asked me to keep to myself, but it is the deepest, most intimate part of himself he’s shared with me. While most of this has come in the form of arguments, it’s still protected information.
I can only give them a vague idea, so I choose my words carefully. “Van struggles with the stigma attached to his dad. He’s afraid of the repercussions.”
“He needs to man the fuck up,” Malik mutters.
My head whips his way and I glare at my brother, completely defending my husband. “Not repercussions to himself, you dumbass. To me.”
And to our unborn children, but that isn’t something I’m going to divulge either. We didn’t tell anyone we were trying to get pregnant. We didn’t want the pressure of others impatiently waiting for it to happen.
“But surely he knows you don’t care about that,” Anna says, drawing my attention back to her.
“He knows,” I reply, picking up my cup to take a sip. “But he cares and that’s all that matters to him.”
“He pulled this shit with you three years ago when that first article came out,” Malik says, turning toward the panel where he pushes some buttons. “And you didn’t stick around to put up with it. You left and he came groveling after you. I don’t understand why you’re the one chasing when he’s being the same dick.”
Because it’s different. Because babies are involved, or at least the hope of babies, and Van can’t see past the horror.
“It’s not your place to judge his feelings,” I tell my brother, and I see his shoulders sag a little. “It’s not your place to judge how I’m handling this.”
He glances back at me. “I’m not. I just love you and don’t want you hurt again.”
“I’m already hurt,” I admit candidly. Malik curses under his breath. “But I’m going to let Van fix it. Now, let’s talk about something else.”
God, please let this be fixed.
Malik nods and goes back to work. Anna taps the table to get my attention. “Your brother and I are embarking on a new adventure.”
“Oh, really,” I say, propping my chin in my palm. “Tell me all.”
“We’re trying to get pregnant,” she squeaks with excitement.
I manage a brilliant smile as I force back the overwhelming sadness that I used to be just as excited at the prospect of getting pregnant. Only a few weeks ago, I would’ve been screaming it at the top of my lungs, but now it’s my secret to bear until I can knock some sense into my husband.
“Yay!” I yell and reach for her hand. “I’m going to be an auntie again.”
Anna already has a daughter named Avery from a former marriage. Her husband Jimmy died while on a mission with Malik. Anna went through that birth alone, and Malik was captured and held prisoner for months. When he returned, somewhat a shell of the man he once was, it was Anna who brought him back to life. They fell in love and got married. Just last month, Malik formally adopted Avery, but they decided to leave her last name as Tate rather than change it to Fournier, to honor her father.