Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 74730 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74730 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
“As long as it’s not chicken.” Everyone laughed along with Suzy, and it wasn’t long before we were back at the station. I was one of the last to shower and lingered near my locker, texting with Declan.
Big race coming up in Washington, north of Vancouver. Think you can make it?
When he was younger, he’d asked me to come see him race all the time, but since turning pro, the invitations had been fewer. That he wanted me there was reason enough.
I’ll ask for the time off today. Everything good with you? Eating? Hydrating?
Chill, Dad. I’m fine. Just thought it would be nice to see you. Feel free to bring someone. I’ll get you two tickets.
Huh. Bring a friend. He was as bad as my parents at the none-too-subtle hints I should be dating. My finger hovered over my phone. I could bring Denver. He’d enjoy the raucous race atmosphere. Denver would be perfectly fine to go as a friend. I wanted more though. I was tired of keeping secrets. But I couldn’t spring that on Declan between practice runs.
Yet another conversation I needed to have. And soon.
“Hey, sorry about Johnson giving you a hard time.” Caleb emerged from the farthest shower, the one that always had the best hot water. He took his sweet time wrapping his towel around his waist, so I directed my reply to the wall of lockers.
“No problem. Thanks for sticking up for me.”
“Anytime.” Caleb plopped down on the bench near me. His locker was a few spots down. “So…you ever gonna let me take you to Pinball Pizza? Or are you kind of exclusive with the cook?”
I gulped hard. “I…um…”
Damn it, where had all the air gone? I’d wondered if Caleb suspected something at the pancake breakfast, but that had been a couple of weeks ago. Apparently, he’d been biding his time. Which I could sympathize with, seeing as I’d been doing much of the same with Denver. It was all too easy to stay caught up in the present moment, the great sex, the cooking lessons for Eric’s kids, the string of easy texts back and forth, and avoid the conversations we really needed to have.
“It’s not…” I tried again, but I hardly sounded convincing, even to my own ears.
“Oh.” Caleb’s mouth made a perfect circle before his expression went carefully neutral. Or as neutral as Caleb could muster. The others liked to tease him about how easy he was to read at cards, and right now, his attempts to hide his surprise were ruined by pink cheeks. Standing, he yanked open his locker, pulling out a fresh uniform. “Are you not out at all? I kind of assumed…”
“I’m…” I trailed off as excited voices from downstairs filtered up the stairs.
“Rodriguez must have arrived with the baby.” Caleb smiled as he toweled off his short blond hair. I’d forgotten Rodriguez, the firefighter I was covering for, was scheduled to come by around supper time to show off the baby and see her work friends. Sort of a post-baby shower. I’d picked up a gift card earlier in the week and then promptly forgotten about the visit.
“Right. That’s today.” My voice sounded distant, almost floaty, as my brain whirred, finally piecing together that if Rodriguez’s baby was a couple of months old now, she was likely coming back at some point soon. I needed to decide what I was doing with my future, stop coasting by, hoping that if I didn’t raise the topic, Denver wouldn’t be scared off. I had numerous reasons to stick around, but I wanted Denver to give me one more.
I breathed. In and out. The weight of the secret I’d been keeping pushed down on my shoulders, making me slump forward. Could I really make any decisions about the future if I kept holding back?
“You okay?” Dressed, Caleb sat back down, expression intent like he might check my vitals next.
“No, I’m gay.” The words whooshed right out of my mouth, and all I felt was overwhelming relief, like a cool shower on a sweltering day. I smiled, small at first, then grinned, more than a little loopy. “Wow. I’ve never actually said that before.”
“Congratulations, man.” Caleb slapped me on the shoulder. “I’d say let me take you out and welcome you to the queer family, but I’m thinking you’re taken.”
“Yeah.” My mouth twisted. “At least, I hope I am. It’s complicated.”
“Well, if it gets uncomplicated, let me know.” Caleb gave me one of his patented flirty winks. “And I’m a decent listener. That offer is always open.”
“Thanks.”
More happy voices filtered up the stairs, summoning us to the party-like atmosphere below. Sylvia Rodriguez was a tall, stunning woman with big dark eyes that followed her baby as he was passed from hand to hand around our kitchen and break room. Our dining table was littered with cards and gifts, and I added my own to the pile before letting Caleb introduce me to Sylvia.