Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 48146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 241(@200wpm)___ 193(@250wpm)___ 160(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 48146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 241(@200wpm)___ 193(@250wpm)___ 160(@300wpm)
“What are you staring at so intently?” Melanie asked.
“Nothing. Oh, there’s my roommate.” I lifted my hand to wave them over so it would seem like I’d just noticed him. When they saw us, they headed in our direction.
“I didn’t realize you two were so tight,” Melanie remarked.
“We’re not—not really. But I’ve gotten to know him better this year.” Understatement. “We joke that we have a bromance going on.”
Why the fuck did I just admit that out loud?
I could feel Melanie watching me. “Like a crush on a guy friend?”
My heart thrummed as Flash barked out a laugh.
“What’s so funny?” I asked Flash.
“Nothing. Just the idea of you having a thing for another guy.”
“Nothing wrong with it if he did,” Henners said, a warning in his tone.
“Of course not.” Flash held up his hands, trying not to rock the boat with our team captain like he had last year. “It’s more about Bones being interested in anyone for more than one night.”
Lark was staring at me like he could see underneath all my defenses to my raw longing.
Melanie frowned. “Would be sweet if he was.”
I cleared my throat and looked away. “Nope, not for me.”
I didn’t even know if that was true anymore. My thoughts had been solely centered on Emil lately. I wanted to know everything about him, which was why our nightly talks were so fun and interesting. And I’d shared stuff with him in return, more than I had with anyone else besides my dead brother.
I just didn’t know what to make of these newfound feelings. And I certainly didn’t want to freak him out. It almost felt like he didn’t take me seriously, and I got it because up until now, I hadn’t taken myself seriously. I’d always gone with the flow and tried to do the right thing so my parents would notice me—but I always fell short anyway.
Except, this year, things seemed to be clicking into place, with my sexuality and with classes I was actually enjoying, so maybe my future was finally taking shape.
Emil plopped down next to Lark while Justin and Leah took seats at the end of the picnic table. When our gazes clashed, Emil averted his eyes. What would he say if he knew the thoughts running through my head on the regular?
Which only punctuated another issue—Emil insisting that what we’d done wasn’t a big deal. And I could understand why. To a point. Maybe I was just another hookup to him—he’d already said as much—but then, how did that explain catching him also staring at me a little too long sometimes…unless it was only wishful thinking.
I guess karma was a bitch. I suddenly saw Melanie’s sulking in a new light, and I wanted to show her kindness without leading her on. Likely the same thing Emil was thinking. I’d been as clear with Melanie after our hookups as Emil had been with me. But now it felt different with the shoe on the other foot.
A few minutes later, everyone cleared out to get to their next classes, leaving me, Emil, and Lark.
“You don’t have a class?” Emil asked Lark.
“Not until noon.” He stood and grabbed his bag. “I have to get to the library.”
We watched Lark go, the air feeling dense between us.
Emil secured his bag on his shoulder. “I’m gonna head to the coffee cart.”
That was another new addition the university had provided after students complained about the weak selection in the dining hall.
I jumped up and fell in step with him. “Mind if I tag along?”
“You don’t even drink coffee.”
“But they have hot chocolate, and I like that.”
He smirked. “Of course you do.”
“What?”
“You’re such a kid.”
“At least I’m not the one hooked on caffeine. And besides, you know damned well I’m not a kid.”
I saw the line of red forming on his cheeks. “It’s good you don’t drink coffee,” he said as if clinging to that safe topic. “You’d probably be even more annoying.”
“It apparently has the opposite effect on you. Makes you less crabby,” I pointed out. “You should keep some in the room.”
“No, that would be dangerous. One time last year, I drank too much. My hands were shaking so hard that I had to leave class and walk twelve blocks to calm down. It felt like my heart was gonna escape from my chest.”
Kind of how I felt the other night when he went down on me. “Got it. Copious amounts of coffee is not good for you.”
At the cart, Emil ordered for both of us, and as he was pulling out his card, I stepped in front of him. “I got this.” When Emil opened his mouth to protest, I said, “Your treat next time.”
“Next time?” He grabbed a stirrer and a napkin. “Is this part of our new routine?”
“Why not? Isn’t that what bromantic friends do?”