Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 80689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
There’s a flash of the past again.
And like it happened on so many nights of their fucking, it tortures me because I don’t see Jonas—just Kieran and Ryan locked in these beautiful moments. These images that make the darkness flare up inside me.
There’s an excruciating pain in my chest, and it’s too powerful. As it overtakes me, I’ve lost control of my body, thrashing and flailing about, releasing a primal cry to the unjust universe, my hands on a mission that feels disconnected from my body. I’m panting as if in my quick blackout, I did a lap around the house, but slowly, my senses return to me. Tears drip off my jaw, and I can feel their warmth against my cheeks as I discover my computer monitor on the floor.
Not again.
*
“You wanted to see me?” Ryan asks as he enters my office.
It used to be Father’s, but now it’s mine. Everything in this house is mine, even Ryan.
There’s a rush of eagerness mixed with fury in me, but I remain seated behind the desk, typing away on my laptop as I finalize an email to my accountant about an art donation to Emory University.
“Just one moment, Ry,” I say, keeping my attention on my email because I know he hates that.
The tension as he folds his arms is so powerful, I can practically smell it. Is he mad? I hope he is. Although, he doesn’t know real anger, not the sort that pulses through my being.
I sense he’s losing his patience, and it’s likely a few seconds before he heads on his way and I’ll have to chase him down and do the whole, No, please, I’m done now. Or, You made your choice. Find me after I finish working. Or, Please, Ry. Oh, pretty please.
I snicker at the thought just as he starts to open his mouth to excuse himself. I close my laptop and push to my feet.
As his gaze meets mine, it’s clear he knows I’ve intentionally used up the last of his patience. See, Ry. There are still remnants of that connection we once shared. Before you betrayed me.
“What is it?” he asks.
“Why do you ask it like that? I figured you would have slept like a baby.”
After fucking Kieran. No, fucking Jonas. But you can’t convince me you weren’t thinking about our brother.
“I’m sure you would know how I slept.” His eyes accuse me, and it makes me laugh.
“Oh, big bro, I didn’t watch you sleep last night. Now greet me. It’ll make you feel better.”
He leans forward, turning as much of his cheek to me as he can, waiting for me to trick him, but I offer the most appropriate of pecks against his flesh, maybe lingering just a moment longer than I should before opening my mouth and diving to his neck, taking a quick bite.
I get a good chunk, and I wish I could have had more restraint, but it’s like my body can’t forgive him for the torment he put me through last night, or how the images of him and Kieran behind the shed are as fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday.
“Fuck,” he says, jerking away, rubbing at the indentations I left behind. “Simon, I’m not in the mood for games. Just tell me what you want.”
“We used to have time for games. And I think you still have time for them now, just not with me.” I don’t expect a response, so I go on. “I wanted to see how your work with Jonas has been going. Is he proving a valuable asset to your team?”
He nods, as if he fears if he says anything, he’ll tell too much.
Haven’t you realized I already know what you’re doing? You think I haven’t planned for this? How can you, of all people, not know me better than this?
“Good. I would hate to find out otherwise and need to excuse him.” I look him directly in his eyes, knowing that would pain him. Knowing that he would long for his cock, his touch, his kiss now that they’ve spent so much time together, learning each other’s bodies.
But don’t worry, Ry. If only that were my plan.
“Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?” he asks, surely annoyed since it was something I could have approached him about at lunch or dinner.
“I wanted to make sure you like Jonas. I feel like you do…like him.”
We stare into each other’s eyes.
“Am I right?” I press.
“I’m getting back to work. I don’t know what you want from me, but I’m not giving it to you.”
“Ryan, can’t I just want to catch up with my brother?”
“Not when I have a shit ton of work to get done.”
“But I’m concerned about my staff, so I want to make sure everything’s running smoothly.”