Total pages in book: 156
Estimated words: 142833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
"I wouldn't say it's immaturity. I mean, how can you help yourself when I'm so fuckin' insanely irresistible, right?" I joke, trying to lighten up the mood.
Her mouth falls open and she starts to laugh. "Look at you, all in love with yourself." She teases. "It's true though. There's definitely something about you, Tor. Every girl I know drools over you."
I lift our hands up and press my lips against her knuckles, holding her hand there. "I really only care what you think. They don't see me like this. Only you do."
Her hand starts to tremble with nervousness in mine, and I wonder if things ever went further with us if she would be a shaking bundle of nerves. I have to admit, a part of me likes that I make her so shaky. It makes me want to make love to her until she explodes and then calms in my arms. I want to watch and feel that transition something fierce.
"Can I ask you something personal?" She asks.
"Sure." I kiss her hand again and wait for the shaking. One...two...shaking starts. My cock hardens like a rock in my jeans wondering where else she's quivering.
"You're not like this with anyone else? This sweet?"
"No. Not like I am with you. Not even close."
"I'm glad," she says. "I know I'm being a brat again, but I want that part of you all to myself."
"Well, you got it."
Her eyes settle on my mouth as it rests against her hand, and she licks her lips, wanting me to kiss her. I can feel it emanating from her like white heat.
I fight the temptation. "Just so you know...I'm not seeing anyone else. And I haven't been physical with anyone in a long time. I don't want you feeling like some side toy for me."
Her gaze shifts up to lock with mine as she absorbs my words, and I watch the way the color of them changes in the sunlight from light green to a deep forest green.
"Are we seeing each other?" She asks, her voice wavering.
"I think we're way beyond seeing each other in a lot of ways, Kenzi."
"What are we, then?" I can barely hear her over the sound of the water, and I almost wish I hadn't. I don't know the answer to that question, and that's what's been shredding up my insides for months.
"I'm trying to figure that out, love." I answer quietly.
That seems to satisfy her for now as she nods slowly and then looks back out at the water, but I feel like I have to say more.
"The thing is...I'm afraid of how much I want you. And need you. I want a lot, Kenzi. And with you, I think it's going to be way beyond anything I've ever felt before."
"Is that bad?"
"I honestly don't know. But I do know I'm looking for my last relationship, and you haven't even had a first yet."
"I already told you I want you to be my first and last everything, Tor," she says softly. "I meant it."
"I know that, and I want to believe it. You have no idea how much I want to."
She sighs, the tiny vein in her temple throbbing in frustration over my doubts, but I can't lie to her. I'm not at a stage in my life where I want to go through a fling or deal with indecision several months down the road.
"Did you bring our pennies?" She questions.
I grin and let go of her hand reluctantly to dig into my front pocket, taking out the two coins I brought with me. "Of course I did."
"Can we do something different this time?"
"Okay..."
She takes one of the pennies from me. "Let’s wish for the same thing at the same time. Then hopefully it will come true." Her eyes glimmer with hope just like they did when she was a little girl and would talk about exciting things that she couldn't wait to see or do. One of the things I've always loved most about her is her never-ending hope and positive outlook that she inherited from her father.
"I like that idea. What are we going to wish for?"
"To live happily ever after. Together."
A hard lump forms in my throat at the realization that there isn't anything in this universe - wishes or otherwise - that's going to allow that dream to come true. I'm most likely going to be the first guy to break her precious heart, even though that's the last thing I ever want to do. Maybe this was my role all along...to be the one to make her feel everything for the first time, both good and bad. Maybe I'm supposed to guide her through life and do my best to lessen all the blows for her. Maybe I'm her safety net.
"We're not a fairytale, Kenzi."
Her hand clenches around the penny defiantly. "We can be, Tor. You just have to believe in it enough."