Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 90524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Babu (Anna): No idea where your contract might be in the house.
Babu (Anna): Just ask Ig before he leaves.
Babu (Anna): I’m sure he would be HAPPY to get his lawyer to resend it if he can’t find it.
Yeah.
I figured as much.
And it’s not that I’m afraid to ask him, it’s just that he’s so busy with career stuff that when he finally isn’t, I feel bad for bothering him.
Not that he’s ever called me a bother.
Or treated me like one.
Hell, sometimes he doesn’t even treat me like the nanny, but some woman who happens to be his new roommate that has amazing child caring abilities.
How else do you describe us picking paint colors and decor for my room right after we’ve finished picking them together for his daughter?
That’s not typically nanny territory.
That’s roommate shit.
Or girlfriend shit.
Or Slayer shit.
And I am so not one of the latter, although…I’m the one they’ve all been texting for advice on how to deal with the unstable situation of raising a kid with a father who’s not around nearly enough. A hunk of the players on the team are so new to this level that they’re in the same boat as Igor except they knocked up women they actually loved.
Not one that was looking for a one-way ticket to star in The Real Housewives of the NHL.
However, unlike Ig – who hired a nanny for help – the wives are doing the raising themselves.
Most are pretty clueless about anything involving children and refuse to reach out to their parents or siblings or besties for advice, yet aren’t afraid to video chat me or send photos of a diaper full of poop at two a.m. to ask if they should rush their one-year-old to hospital.
Anna says this is just what happens when you’re attached to the captain.
You become Mrs. Claus to his Santa.
Reminding her that we’re not dating – IE I shouldn’t bear that label – was simply met by a smug smirk of disagreement.
You know…despite having been a nanny in some capacity for basically my entire life – meaning I know every family is structured differently and that every family feels different – something is a little off about this whole arrangement.
Maybe it’s because I can’t remember being hired?
Maybe it’s because I can’t fathom why I would pick a walking scandal waiting to happen?
Or maybe…just maybe…it’s because I’ve never been into the man who direct deposits my paycheck before?
That shit is definitely new.
And would be in everyone’s best interest if it went away.
Particularly my vibrator’s.
I don’t think warranty covers overuse brought on by seeing your boss shirtless at least half the time he’s home.
Swear to the Griswolds, he’s doing the shit on purpose.
He has clean clothes!
I fucking wash them!
And hang dry his favorite book nerd shirts!
Begrudgingly, I tuck my phone back into my pocket and head for the man I wish like hell I could get off my mind.
Seriously.
Nothing good comes from lusting after someone you can never be with.
Correction.
Should never be with.
Regardless of how hard he laughs during my late-night Christmas movie marathons on the living room couch, and how much fun we have buying books for Bella at the bookstore while waiting to pick her up from school when he’s home, and how much joy we get from being silly together with food to show her there’s no reason to fear certain types, hooking up is something that just can’t happen.
Shouldn’t happen.
Will never fucking happen.
Mostly because I’m a professional.
Less mostly because I’m not interested in possibly getting whatever new STD is running rampant through the hockey community for one night of what I keep picturing to be the most amazing sex I’ve ever had.
I mean…come on.
I’ve seen the man stretch on the ice.
He’s so fucking limber.
Every time I watch him instead of his daughter convince her grandparents it’s okay to shovel candy into her face all I can think about is how I wanna be the David to that Goliath.
Of course, taking him down would have a completely different meaning in this situation.
And a completely different scenario.
Two steps out of the kitchen, a new round of vibrations begins, prompting me to pause the walk to check it.
Another important part of being a live-in nanny.
Always be prepared to answer your phone when the kiddo is out of your supervision space.
Could be the other parent.
The grandparents.
The school, after-school program, coach, trainer, or teacher.
And while I know it’ll never be the first thing I mentioned, I can’t pretend that not being stuck in the middle of an ongoing custody battle isn’t a huge relief.
I’ve done that shit so much over the years that I started putting lines about not being pulled into it in my contracts. It turns out most people are willing to be a tad more civil when there’s a risk of losing a nanny you heavily rely on with little to no warning.