Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Her brows shoot to her hairline, her eyes searching mine. “They’re alive?”
We never spoke about my parents or my life before I came to the diner. Just that I was pregnant and needed somewhere to go. Ruby didn’t ask questions; she just loved me. “Yeah, and I’m sure they’re out of their minds with worry about me.”
“Oh, Maria—”
“I know,” I admit, shaking my head. “But I took off because he made me feel like I was nothing. If the one person I loved more than anything thought so little of me, no telling what everyone else thought.”
I also had anxiety about my family or his or Ingrid finding out what had happened at the rink. How he’d spoken to me, what he’d called me. I didn’t want them to know or even assume that of me.
“Who cares what he thought?” she asks, but I press my lips together.
“I did. I wanted to be his world, and I wasn’t good enough.” I take a deep breath, running my fingers along Arwen’s chunky ankle. “I needed a reset, and after a month, I thought I had one. I wasn’t going to let him decide who I was. I’d show him I’m more. But as I was driving home, I got so sick and threw up on the side of the road. I ran to the Walmart and took a pregnancy test in the bathroom. I was pregnant by the man I loved but who thought I was the biggest whore in the world. I had stopped here to think, and you were so kind, when I knew everyone at home wouldn’t be. I would have to fight the father of my child to get him to accept my pregnancy. Our families are so close, and I felt like sides would be taken. He’d hurt me so badly that, when you offered, I stayed.”
Ruby’s solemn expression makes me feel worse, and I look away, my chest aching. She clutches my chin in her fingers and forces me to look at her. “You need to go home.”
Her statement surprises me. “What?”
Her eyes burn with tears. “If my daughter were alive and did what you’ve done, I would have done anything to get her back. A mom shouldn’t be without her daughter. How would you feel if Arwen ran away from you—over a boy?”
Just the thought brings me such pain, I can’t draw in my next breath. I glance down at Arwen, and I know I’d be a shell of a woman without her. Is that how my mom feels? My dad?
Emotion burns my throat as I look back at Ruby.
“Damn,” I wheeze, pressing the heel of my hand into my chest. “Went for the jugular.”
“You know I don’t play.”
“You don’t understand,” I try to defend. “Our families are so close.”
“But you’re their baby,” she stresses, her eyes pleading with mine. “Go home.”
“They’re going to be so mad,” I say, choking on a sob. “I leave and stay gone for more than three years, and then show up with my daughter that I share with their best friends’ son? They’re going to rip me apart.”
“And you deserve it.”
“Ruby!” I gasp, but she shrugs, the picture of an honest woman.
“Tell me I’m wrong, but we know I’m not. You took off and left them to fear and worry for you. You deserve a good tongue-lashing, but Maria, it wouldn’t be for long. You’ll be home. They’ll have you back, and they get Arwen, to boot.” She squeezes my hand, and I look up, our gazes locking. “I bet if you called them right now, they’d come get you as fast as possible.” My heart clenches. I know they would.
I sniff, trying to hold back my emotions as I meet her gaze.
“And you’re wrong for keeping that baby from her daddy. I’m not trying to scare you, but that’s a whole different issue. The way he looks at you? At her? Jeez, Maria, you’ve dug yourself a mighty big hole. But he’s ready to dig you on out.”
“He broke my heart.”
She holds my gaze. “Tell me this, Maria. Do you feel good that you made him pay for that by keeping his little girl from him? By keeping Arwen from her dad?”
No, I don’t feel good about any of it. All I feel is pain, but it wasn’t my intention to hurt him, not like he hurt me. I was terrified and didn’t want to have to convince him that Arwen was his. I mean, he knew from the jump when he saw her, but it would have been different if I’d come home pregnant. It would have been embarrassing, him saying she wasn’t his, asking for a test. It would have been such a strain on our families, and it’s all still so much.
All I know is I feel more lost now than I did when I left.