Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 117363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Not goodbye, because Riko wasn’t gone. He couldn’t be gone.
“It’s not true,” Jean said.
“There was a press conference this morning,” Renee said. “Coach Moriyama is accepting personal responsibility for the pressure Riko was under. He resigned effective—” She lost the rest in a grunt when Jean elbowed his way free of her. He didn’t have enough balance to be upright and ended up slamming into the wall by the door. Renee’s hands were on him immediately, keeping him from tipping over, and she held fast despite his attempts to pry free of her. “Jean, it’s okay.”
“No,” Jean said, sharp and panicked. “The master would never leave. The ERC cannot make him.”
“It wasn’t the ERC,” Nathaniel said in quiet French. Jean finally turned to try and see him. Nathaniel was the only other person in the room, standing guard in the far corner. He looked far too calm for all of this. “Ichirou was at the game, and he saw for himself what chaos Tetsuji was breeding in Evermore. When Riko took his swing at me, Ichirou picked his side.”
“No,” Jean said. “I won’t believe it.”
“After the police left, I was invited to East Tower to watch,” Nathaniel said. “A show of respect, maybe, because everything I warned him came true. First, he banished Tetsuji from Exy: no more Edgar Allan, no more professional teams, no more ERC. Then he handled Riko.”
“I don’t believe you,” Jean insisted. “Riko is King. He is the future of Exy. He is a Moriyama. They would never kill him.”
“He was,” Nathaniel said, with a bit of emphasis, “King. Now he’s a martyr.”
The last of Jean’s strength left him, and he slowly sank to the ground. The shudder that wracked his chest should have been revulsion, but it fell dangerously short. This didn’t feel like joy or relief; it only felt like loss. Jean hated it, hated it, hated it. He wanted to claw his own face open. He wanted to tear at his throat until he found the knot that was making it so hard to breathe.
Marseille was lost to trauma. Evermore’s doors were closed to him. The master was exiled. Riko was dead. Everything Jean had ever known was gone. Who was he without them?
His heart twisted so violently it sent quakes over every inch of him. How wretched, how exhausting, to have one of his dearest and most desperate wishes fulfilled, and to feel nothing but this gnawing turmoil. It wasn’t fair. He wanted to say it, but there was no point saying it when he didn’t even believe in fairness. The best he managed was a choked sound that tore him on its way out.
“Hey,” Renee said as she knelt beside him. One hand came up to cup the back of his skull, and she leaned forward to press her forehead to his temple. He could feel her heartbeat against his skin, a steady metronome he could ground his ragged breathing against. He didn’t have it in him to shove her away, but he hooked a knee to his aching chest to give himself a small barrier against her comfort. “I have you. It’s okay to let go.”
It gave him just enough strength to say, “I won’t grieve him.”
“Maybe it’s not about him,” Renee said. “Maybe you’re mourning the wreckage he made of your life. You’re allowed to grieve what he took from you.”
Even here, even now, denying it was instinctive: “He didn’t take anything from me.” He tried to pull out of her grip, but she didn’t let him go. “Did you see his body?”
“No,” Renee admitted.
“I did,” Nathaniel said as he crossed the room. He lowered himself to a crouch in front of Jean and studied him with calm blue eyes. He waited until Jean turned a haunted stare on him before cocking his fingers like a gun and pressing them to his own temple. “Pop, and he was gone. It’s impressive, isn’t it? How easily these monsters die in the end.” For a moment he looked far away from here. Jean didn’t have to ask where he’d gone; the mess the Wesninskis had made of his face was hard to ignore. “He’s dead, Jean.”
“Promise me,” Jean said, with a desperation that should have killed him.
Nathaniel didn’t hesitate. “I promise.”
Jean put his forehead to his knee and closed his eyes. He counted his breaths in and out, trying to calm his racing heart before it could drum a hole straight through his ribcage. The darkest thought curling around the back of his mind said to reject this, that it was an elaborate trick staged by the Moriyamas to get Riko out of the spotlight before he further embarrassed the family. He had no reason at all to trust Nathaniel, a rabid little Fox who’d had a lifetime to master his lies. If he hadn’t heard it from Jeremy first, if he didn’t have Renee tucked against his side, he’d be able to reject the outlandish lie outright.