Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 123435 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 617(@200wpm)___ 494(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123435 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 617(@200wpm)___ 494(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
Damn. I remember the lyrics to that song, and they’re heartbreaking. Soul crushing. The idea of Cassie feeling that way brings a hot clench of emotion to my chest.
“And don’t get me wrong—I treasure my sisters, I do. And I like Nia. But I can’t tell you how many times I used to lie there crying about it. Sometimes, I’d fantasize that Dad would randomly show up in Boston and come get me. He’d push past my mother and announce he was bringing me home because he was miserable without me. Like in the song.” Cassie lets out a shaky breath, a flimsy laugh. “It’s stupid, I know. But I was fifteen. Angst was my middle name.”
My vision goes a little blurry, and I’m startled to realize there’s moisture clinging to my eyelashes. I blink rapidly, but that proves to be a mistake. One tear slips out and plops onto the cheek Cassie has pressed on my shoulder.
“Oh my God, Tate. Are you crying?”
Someone goddamn kill me.
I swallow hard. My throat is so tight it hurts.
“You are,” she says in amazement, rising on her elbow to peer at me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bum you out.”
I lift my fist to my face and scrub it over my eyes. “Sorry. It’s just so fucking sad, Cassie.” I hold her closer and she’s so soft and warm, and suddenly I’m hit with the vision of a ten-year-old Cassie being forced to leave Avalon Bay and her father behind, whisked away to live with her shitty mother.
My eyes feel like they’re burning again, and I gulp down the lump obstructing my throat.
Christ.
“This is the sweetest thing ever,” she whispers, burying her face in my neck. “Nobody has ever cried on my behalf before.”
Hell, I’ve never cried on anyone’s behalf before. But this is Cassie. She’s the kindest soul I’ve ever met. The funniest, sexiest, most compelling woman I’ve ever been with, and I feel—
I take a sharp inhale as understanding strikes me.
I feel it.
The elusive it.
Whatever the hell it is that makes my parents look at each other the way they do. The feeling I’d been waiting for but could never find with any of the girls who’ve crossed my path over the years.
I feel it now.
The irony of this doesn’t escape me. I almost didn’t get involved with her because I was worried she’ d catch feelings. Meanwhile, my feelings for her hit me out of nowhere and knocked me on my damn ass.
But what does that mean for us? She lives in Boston, and I can’t leave the Bay for the time being. Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain, but maybe we could manage it. She graduates this year anyway. Maybe she’d consider moving back here. This was where she was born. Where her father lives. And it’s evident she loves him deeply.
“You have to talk to him,” I say. “To your dad. Hell, and your mother too. She should know how much her words have hurt you. Don’t you want parents you can be honest with, instead of sweeping everything important under the rug? Just be honest, Cass. With both of them.”
“Sort of like how you’re honest with your father about how badly you want to sail to New Zealand?”
“I mean, it’s not like I didn’t tell him about it. I did. I just can’t go.”
“Sure you can. Your contract ends soon. You have all of autumn and winter off.”
“I already promised Dad I’d work full-time at Bartlett Marine.”
“The dealership will be waiting for you when you get back,” Cassie says softly. She sits up, watching me, her eyes shining with encouragement. “It’s only a few months. Bartlett Marine isn’t going to implode if you’re gone for three months.”
I chew on the inside of my cheek. “I know. I just … I don’t want to let him down.”
That earns me a gentle smile. “See?”
“See what?”
“We both do it. Hold back our own feelings because we don’t want to disappoint our parents or make any waves.”
She’s right.
She’s right about everything.
If I go, Bartlett Marine will still be there when I get back. If I don’t go, I’m letting the opportunity of a lifetime slip away. I might never get another chance to sail a goddamn Hallberg-Rassy halfway across the goddamn world. I’m twenty-three years old, for fuck’s sake. I have the rest of my life to stay in one place and work a nine-to-five job. Three months will pass in the blink of an eye. My father will survive it.
“You know what? You’re right. I think I need to practice what I preach. I’ll make you a deal,” I announce, a smile tickling my lips. “How about this? You talk to your dad and tell him everything you just told me. Talk to your mom and tell her how she’s hurt you. And I’ll talk to my dad and tell him I’m going to New Zealand. Deal?”