Series: Peach State Stepbros Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 78418 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78418 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
So.
Here goes…
“So one of my Grindr dates,” I say, my cheeks burning more and more as I go on, “he showed me this app he was on called Manzturbate. People can go on there and post amateur videos of themselves for people to comment on. They’re paid in tokens, which convert into cash. And people watch this kind of stuff and—”
Colin chuckles, closing his eyes. “Oh God, Ash.” He breathes a deep sigh of relief, as though he’d been imagining something far worse.
Not the reaction I was expecting.
As he reopens his eyes, he says, “This is what you were so worried about telling me? Seriously?” He rests his hands on my shoulders. “I totally get it, man.”
I hesitate. “You do?”
“Dude, you should see some of the porn I watch. I don’t care that you like finding guys on live video streams.”
Oh… I realize there’s been a little miscommunication.
“Why did you think I would freak out over that?” he asks, and he’s got that beautiful clueless look in his eyes. It’s that lovable Lab who thinks I’m about to throw the ball, not give him a bath.
A part of me wants to let him live with his delusion, but I’ve come too far to stop now. “Colin, I’m one of the people making videos on this app.”
He smirks, eyeing me like he’s waiting for me to say, “Just kidding!” When I don’t, his expression turns serious. “Huh?”
“I’ve made a few videos for people to watch me do sessions…jerking off.”
His brows shift subtly as he wears a familiar expression—like in high school when I was helping him with precalc. “Oh…” He releases my shoulders and turns away from me, starting toward the bed.
It’s a weird reaction from the guy who, when I came out to him, threw his arms around me and said, “I’ll always love you, no matter who you fuck around with.”
What does he think? Why isn’t he saying anything?
“Colin…”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m just…”
“Are you mad that I did this?”
He turns sharply back to me, and again, I see the hurt in his expression. Like my Lab’s coming home with a broken leg. It burns in my fucking chest. The kind of burn that makes me wish I could go back in time and redo this whole conversation, tell him everything the moment he asked.
“You think I’d be mad?”
I’m struggling to read his expression.
I, Ash Fuller, can’t read Colin Phillips’s expression?
The world is coming to an end.
“You’re not talking,” I say. “You’re not telling me what you’re thinking. This is weirding me out.”
“Yeah, well, then you know how I’m feeling now.”
Ooh, fuck him for being right.
“I don’t understand it,” he says, “but there are other things I haven’t understood about you. I know it’s not the same as something like this, but I didn’t get you being queer; I wasn’t mad at you about it, though.”
“No, I didn’t mean… I don’t know what I meant, Colin. You’re just acting strange.”
“I’m not the one keeping this big secret. We don’t do that. What about our Step Don’ts? We don’t have secrets.”
No, we don’t. It’s a sore spot for both of us because of Mom and Dad, and I’m sure this is digging at him, and I’m the reason he’s hurting.
And it’s killing me.
“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t trust me with this.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Col. It’s just…I didn’t think it was the kind of thing that my brother would want to know about.”
It’s more than that, but I stop there.
“I can wake up in bed naked with you and not have an issue, but you think I would draw the line at knowing you jerk off on camera?”
“Those aren’t the same thing.”
Colin stares off for a moment, and I wait for a reaction before he says, “I think I need to sort through some things.”
“Sort through some things?” Why am I not understanding any of his reactions?
“I need to get my head around this.”
“Let’s talk about it. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”
It’s like he’s unintentionally waterboarding me, and now I’ll confess to anything. Hell, if I could think of another secret I’d kept from him, I’d be out with it right now to end this agony.
Colin nods. “Yeah, I just…need some space.”
“Space?” I ask, like it’s a foreign concept.
He starts for the door.
Colin has never walked out like this before. Hell, I can’t even remember us ever having an actual fight.
Not that this is anything like a fight to normal people, but when the fuck have we been normal?
He heads out, closing the door behind him, leaving me reeling in a big what-the-fuck before he comes back in.
“This is my room,” he says, holding the door open.
This is all so much that I can’t even enjoy the classic Clueless Colin moment as I step out into the hall.