Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 125135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 626(@200wpm)___ 501(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 626(@200wpm)___ 501(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
I scratched my chin. “What if you reach out to the girl you were on a date with after some time has passed and ask for her friend’s name?”
He arched a brow. “You don’t think that’s tacky?”
I lit one of the cigars I found on the counter behind me and blew smoke out. “Who the fuck cares? It’s not like you’re dating her.”
“Yeah, maybe. I don’t know.” Brayden sighed. “Anyway, what’s new with you, Colby?”
“Well…” Colby flashed a big, goofy grin. “I happen to be holding in my pocket the very first photos of Baby Lennon.”
“No way.” I reached my hand out. “Hand them over!”
Colby took out a few ultrasound pics. “As you guys know, Billie doesn’t want to find out the gender. It was really difficult for me not to ask the ultrasound tech about it. But I promised, so I didn’t. Plus, Billie said it’s too early to tell.” He placed them on the table. “I’ve been trying to figure it out by looking at the photos. Any guesses?”
Brayden pointed to a certain spot. “That’s a total dick! It’s huge.”
Colby chuckled. “See, that’s what I thought at first, but Billie says it could be the umbilical cord. I don’t know what these things normally look like. I never saw Saylor’s images. But that does look like a penis to me.”
“It’s a pretty sizable one.” I winked. “Must take after his uncle Holden.”
Owen blew out some smoke. “I’m gonna laugh when it turns out to be a girl because that’s so obviously not a penis. It’s an arm.”
The guys and I went back and forth, debating the sex of Colby and Billie’s baby. I was thrilled that they’d passed right by me in the rotation of updates about what was going on in our lives. Because if I’d told them the truth about what happened at the club with Lala, it wouldn’t have gone well.
But I jinxed myself, because as soon as Colby returned the photos to his shirt pocket, he looked over at me.
“Holden, what’s going on with you?”
I fidgeted in my seat. There was a lot on my mind that I wanted to unleash, stuff I really did want my friends’ take on. I just didn’t want to get shit for even asking. But in a split-second decision, I did it anyway. “How the hell do you know if you’re in love with someone?”
All three of their heads turned in my direction at the same time, but no one said anything. They looked at each other, then back at me. You could’ve heard a pin drop.
Colby leaned in. “Why are you asking that?”
I rolled my eyes. “Take a wild guess.”
“Well, I know where my mind is going,” Owen chimed in.
I put my head in my hands. “I don’t even know if it’s love I’m feeling. All I know is that every single time I’m around her, I make a goddamn fool of myself. I can’t seem to make the right decisions…or think about anything else.” I lifted my cards and arranged them mindlessly. “I’m all messed up.”
“Is this about her fiancé being in town?” Brayden asked. “Is that what pushed you over the edge?”
“Partly.” I lifted my chin. “You knew he was here?”
He nodded. “I ran into them in the hallway last weekend. Lala seemed really on edge.”
My stomach sank. “That was probably because of me,” I confessed. “I sort of put her in a weird position last Saturday night.”
I gave in and told the guys what had happened at my show at The Villager. Needless to say, they weren’t happy with me.
Brayden leaned back in his seat and shook his head. “Dude, that was so wrong.”
“I know it was wrong. I should be doing better, but I don’t know how to stop. I know I’m wrong for her. But it doesn’t change how I feel.” I tugged on my hair. “Look, just pretend I didn’t say anything…”
Colby held out his palm. “No, no. You asked a question. I think we should all do our best to answer it.”
Owen shrugged. “Don’t look at me. I’ve never been in love. I can’t even find a woman I can stand spending more than a few hours with.”
“Same here, dude.” Brayden smirked. “Well, except for freaking Julia last night, but that doesn’t really count.” Brayden turned to Colby. “Looks like you’re the one who’s going to have to answer the question.”
“Okay, don’t mind if I do.” Colby cleared his throat. “Obviously, there are many things you can feel about someone when you’re in love. But the thing that sticks out to me is that when you truly love someone, you’re willing to give your life for them. That person means more to you than anything—including yourself.”
Looking down at the table, I knew I would jump in front of a train for Lala, if that meant saving her. There was no doubt in my mind that I would die for her. I thought that a little bit much to announce at this poker table, though. But I guessed I probably was in love with her. Unfortunately, being in love still didn’t make me the best choice. You can prove your love by letting someone go just as easily as you would by staying in their life and potentially ruining it.