Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 145823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
He reached forward and killed the recording.
“So that’s Will,” Sam said with a sigh, shutting the laptop and bringing over the tape recorder.
“I already knew that she loved him, but thank you for making him real.” My voice was gruffer than I intended. If that night in Afghanistan had gone differently, maybe I still would have met Morgan, but she would have been a tourist wrapped around her boyfriend. I never would have had the chance to fall in love with her.
“You’re welcome. Now, you know that every week Morgan has to record the story of his death and listen to it, right?”
“So that’s the tape recorder.”
“You got it. This is from this week.” She pressed play, and Morgan’s sweet, clear drawl came through. She told the story from start to finish, then the funeral, without so much as a hiccup. There was pain, grief in her voice, but she was concise and in control.
“That therapy sounds a lot like torture,” I remarked as Sam hit stop.
“It has been.” She slid her phone in front of her, swiped it open, and thumbed through her media. “Now listen. I only have this because I was an idiot and thought I was supposed to record it. But when you stand there all frustrated, preaching at her that you’ll be fine and it’s only three months of a beach vacation? This is what goes through her head.” She tapped her phone, and Morgan’s voice came through again.
“I’m…in the grocery store—” Holy shit, she sounded broken. Every word was a struggle. “—picking out a jar of jam, and my phone rings.” She gasped, sucking in air. “It’s Sam,” she cried with a sob.
I braced my head in my hands as my eyes fluttered shut. Like I could somehow block out her pain if I didn’t see the fucking phone.
“She…she…” Her breath was ragged. “I can’t do this. I just can’t.”
“You can, Morgan. You just have to get through it once today. Go as far as you can,” a soothing voice sounded. That had to be her therapist.
“Sam said that there was a crash.” Another pause. “And our friends are hurt.”
“Have some water,” the therapist suggested.
“Thank you.” Another pause. “And Will…he didn’t make it.” Her sobs crush my soul, my ego, my very foundation. “He’s dead. He’s only been there three days, and he’s gone.” She cried so hard my eyes burned, and when I glanced at Sam, she was swiping away her tears.
“I can’t listen to this,” I snapped.
“If she could get through it, so can you,” she retorted.
I locked my jaw as my legs began to fidget, looking for any action I could take to lessen Morgan’s pain.
“And…and…” She sucked in a harsh breath. “I drop the jar and it shatters, but who cares? Will is dead. Will! My Will! And I can’t breathe! How am I supposed to breathe?” She screamed that last word, and I felt it reverberate in every cell of my body. The gasp she took was familiar, and I tensed every muscle in my body as I heard it. “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.” The chant went on another ten seconds before the therapist jumped in to help with the anxiety attack, and the tape stopped.
Sam pocketed the phone and wiped her cheeks again.
Defeated. Drained. Heartbroken. I couldn’t put a finger on which emotion trumped the rest. “I love her,” I whispered.
“Yeah, I know you do. And beneath all this that’s swimming in her head? I think she loves you, too. And you can be as mad as you want to be that she’s shut you out, as long as you understand that it has nothing to do with what she feels for you and everything to do with self-preservation so she doesn’t become her”—she lifted her phone—“again.”
“So I’m just supposed to do what? Walk away from the woman I love?” I lifted my head. “Because that’s not in my nature. What we have is something worth fighting for, and I’m climbing into the ring, ready to take the punches, but she’s already left the arena.”
Sam sighed and rubbed her forehead, then glanced at her wedding ring. “The truth is I’m torn. I honestly think she needs you just as much as you need her. I…” She shook her head and muttered something to Will. “I think you’re her match. But I also know that you are jumping up and down on the biggest trigger she has.”
“I can’t help it. If I could do anything about this, trust me, I would.”
“I know that, too.” She stood and put everything back in her bag. “Which is why I’m telling you that it’s not going to be enough for you to fight for her. You’re going to have to fight her, too. And that might be more than you can take.”