Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 128980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 645(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 645(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
I can do this. Taking in plenty of oxygen, I clear my throat and slowly make my way through, feeling able to face the photographs lining the walls of the hallway this time. My little girl. She’s everywhere—posing, captured playing, dancing. I’ve never seen such a perfect little thing.
My pace stutters when I come face to face with a picture of my dead wife, her expression bright and happy. Again, I wait for the shakes to attack me, but they don’t come.
All the hatred and bitterness that’s weighed me down for all these years has vanished. Gone like it was never there. I’m looking into the eyes of the woman who destroyed me, and I feel nothing but sadness and sorrow. We both made mistakes. We both let our little girl down. But I’m the only one left who can make things right. Or as right as they can be. I pass a silent message to her, looking straight into her dark eyes.
I’m sorry, Monica.
I don’t know if she’ll hear it. Whether it would mean anything if she does. But I am sorry. I’m sorry for abandoning my little girl. I sniff, ripping my eyes away from the image of my wife. The sound of a child’s squeal floats into the house, and I peek my head around the door to the dining room, seeing the patio doors flung open. I’m aware that Abbie and Cami are hovering behind me, probably silently willing me on. Taking one hesitant step, I put myself in the room, bringing part of the garden into view. I don’t see Charlotte, but I can hear her. She’s chatting away buoyantly, and I turn to ask who’s out there with her.
Abbie chuckles. “She’s having a tea party with her teddy bears.”
“Oh.” I show acceptance and understanding, when what I’m actually thinking is, Huh? She’s talking to her teddy bears? Having a tea party? My silent bewilderment speaks volumes. I haven’t got a fucking clue how to humor or entertain children, least of all a little girl who talks to her toys. I’m suddenly very nervous, but I bully myself to move forward before I chicken out and run for the hills.
When I round the corner, I can’t help but stare, a little taken aback. It’s not a tea party, it’s a banquet. The garden table is set and platters of fruit and cakes are positioned in the middle. A few bottles of water are scattered, and two of the six chairs have teddy bears perched on them. Charlotte, dressed in an adorable lemon cotton sundress, her dark hair in a high ponytail, is dishing up some grapes on the plates laid before her bears.
“One or two, Mr. Piggles?” she asks seriously, holding up a spoon with two red grapes perched atop. “Two?” she asks, and I look to the bear like a twat, waiting for his confirmation. “Greedy!” she giggles, tipping the spoon onto the plate. The grapes roll around, one finding its way to the edge and toppling off the side. She tuts, grabbing it with her hand and tossing it back on the plate. “No, you may not leave the table.” She waves the spoon in the bear’s face. “Only when you’ve eaten all your supper.”
I’m speechless. Turning, feeling a little lost and stupid, I find Cami and give her a pained look. I have no idea what to do, and she knows it, but instead of coming over and helping me out, she flips her eyes to Charlotte’s back and gives me an encouraging smile. Then Cami looks at Abbie and she nods, understanding, and they both turn and wander back into the house. I watch, mouth hanging open in stunned silence, as they abandon me, leaving me to fend for myself.
Talk about throwing me to the fucking wolves! They disappear, not even flinging me a backward glance to check whether I’m still alive. I come over all stressed, my forehead prickling with sweat beads. I didn’t bargain for this.
“Hello.”
The sweet little voice has me swinging around more violently than I should, my expression undoubtedly panicked. She’s looking up at me, her tiny chin lifted high to get my towering frame in view. I feel like a giant. This little thing, she can’t hurt me. Coughing over my thick tongue, I yell at myself for being such a pussy. “Hello,” I reply—short, sweet, and simple, praying she takes the lead and gives me a heads-up on where our first ever conversation will go.
But she says nothing. Just stares up at me, making me fidget and avoid her dark eyes. She’s inspecting me. I can’t help but wonder what her tiny mind is concluding. The silence becomes painful. At least, it does for me. Charlotte seems quite happy studying me.
I cough again and offer my hand, not knowing what the hell I’m doing. “I’m Jake.” I keep my voice low and as soft as I can. I don’t want to frighten her. I’m terrified enough for the both of us.