Total pages in book: 190
Estimated words: 181992 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 910(@200wpm)___ 728(@250wpm)___ 607(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 181992 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 910(@200wpm)___ 728(@250wpm)___ 607(@300wpm)
Not realizing their time together was running out, I thought. “I wouldn’t say that means you fucked up—”
“But I did. Like you, there were things she wanted from life. But because I was stowing things for ‘down the road,’ she missed out. I didn’t know that road would be a short one, or I’d have done things differently.” He sighed. “I wasn’t even concerned about her op. I thought she’d be fine.”
“I don’t think anyone would expect an appendectomy to result in a nightmare. You hear that every operation has its risks. Doctors always warn you of it, so it can make you nervous when someone you care for goes under the knife, but you don’t really think there’ll be fatal complications.”
His gaze went unfocused. “I don’t think I’ve ever in my life been more shocked by anything than I was by her father’s call, telling me she hadn’t pulled through the surgery,” he said, his voice dead. “Her mother was wailing in the background, utterly destroyed.”
My heart hurt for him. I balled up my hands in my pockets, wishing I could console him, not knowing how; not knowing if he’d even allow it or if he’d instead pull away and then our conversation would be over. “Life is so unfair sometimes, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” He paused. “I don’t visit her grave, you know. Haven’t been there since her funeral. I don’t like remembering her the way she was in that casket.” He stared at me, apparently expecting to be branded cold or disrespectful.
I gave him an empty smile. “I don’t go to Lake’s grave either.”
Dax’s brow briefly creased in surprise. “You don’t?”
I shook my head. “Some people no doubt judge me for it. And look, I understand why there are those who find comfort in visiting graves; why they believe and feel it’s the ‘right’ thing to do—it’s certainly not the wrong thing to do. But I also feel that it doesn’t help everybody. It wouldn’t help me. It’d be a one-sided visit—Lake isn’t there. What made him who he is, his soul or spirit or whatever you want to call it, is gone.”
Dax nodded in understanding.
“You know, Lake actually told me not to go—said I could have a mental conversation with him anywhere; that there was no need to do that in front of his grave. ‘I won’t be there, Addie,’ he said to me. ‘All that’ll be left is the spacesuit that my soul needed in order to walk and breathe on this Earth, and that fucking thing has let me down—don’t pay it a tribute.’”
Dax reached out and linked his fingers with mine, making my pulse skip. “Makes sense to me.” He gave my hand a quick squeeze, and he held onto it the entire walk home.
Chapter Thirty-Four
As we walked out of the large building a week later, Harri gave a disappointed shake of her head. “I really didn’t think we’d be so bad at that.”
“Me neither,” said Alicia, appearing somewhat shellshocked. “I mean, we’re intelligent women. We all perform well under pressure.”
Fucking A. “We’ve each worked our way through bigger battles than that,” I said, gesturing at the building behind us with my thumb. “We should have easily been able to tackle them as a team.”
Harri pulled a face. “Fuck escape rooms. They suck.”
“More like we sucked,” I mumbled.
Alicia notched up her chin. “I blame the clues—they weren’t clear.”
“Dad will be so disappointed in us,” said Harri with a sigh as we began walking across the parking lot. “And Ollie will laugh his ass off.”
“Only if they learn of it.” Alicia touched her chest. “I personally think there’d be no harm in us, uh, keeping it to ourselves.”
Harri twisted her mouth, pensive, and then gave a slow nod. “There’s no reason for anyone to know. The truth wouldn’t in any way contribute positively to the lives of those around us.”
“Exactly.” Alicia loosely shrugged one shoulder. “We could let them think we kicked ass in there. Right, Addie?”
“Oh, agreed.” I was in no rush at all to confess how horrifically we’d performed.
“Then it’s settled,” proclaimed Alicia as we slowed our pace on nearing our vehicles. “You sure you don’t want to eat out with us?” she asked me. “Harri and I are thinking Italian.”
I gave them a grateful smile but shook my head. “I had a late night last night, so I’m wiped.”
Alicia’s eyes twinkled. “A late night, huh?”
“Not that kind—I swear you have sex on the brain.” Dipping my hand into my purse, I fished out my keys. “It was Dax’s turn to play host again for a guys’ night. They didn’t leave until the early hours of the morning.”
“Did you take pictures of them sitting around shirtless?”
I felt my brows knit. “They didn’t remove their shirts.”
“They did in my head. I can so easily picture them lounging around with their chests bare, muscles rippling, abs showing …”