Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 95147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
“It’s what you deserve for putting up with that lump.”
“But I feel bad. We’re almost thirty-five, and I was the first one to get married, and I didn’t make us any babies.”
“I know, I know, I don’t hold it against you. Look on the bright side; at least we don’t share a child with dickless.”
“Can you imagine the poor kid going over there on his shared weekends, with dickless and the monster in law? I thank you, ovaries, for not letting me down and saddling me with that man and the hagfish of a bitchy mother-in-law.”
We saluted my ovaries for looking out, and then I looked for Mr. Hotness again. “I don’t see him; you sure there isn’t another exit?”
“Nope, and he hasn’t come back this way. Well, wait, I think there are the owner’s offices and stuff like that back there. That’s how it usually is in places like this.”
I pouted and went back to my drink, feeling sullen. Not that I would expect someone like him to look at me. He’s the kind of man who has women falling all over themselves to climb in his bed. While I’m just…. Me. The curvy divorcee who doesn’t stand a chance in hell.
“I guess we’ll never see him again. There go, my babies. Say goodbye to our babies Nat.”
“Giving up so soon? We’ve still got time, a few more years; I’m sure someone suitable will come along.” I shook my head in despair. “Nope, I think Mr. Hottie incinerated my ovaries with that look.”
Mace
She’s funny as fuck and cute with it. I’m not sure what she meant by giving them babies, but her friend is not my type. I know most people think that a man in my position should go for the type. Svelte, sophisticated, and malnourished. Nope, I like my women healthy. I like to feel her soft belly rubbing against me when I fuck deep. And big women have the deepest, wettest pussies you’d ever fuck.
I guess some small dick asshole might be intimidated, but when you’re packing thirteen and a half by five, you don’t worry about shit like that.
She looks like she would crank the jizz outta my balls and those tits. I’m already salivating. I gotta get to the bottom of this us and babies thing, though; I’m not down with that shit.
STEPH
“Oh Nat, here we are, thirty-five almost and still no prospects.” Nat and I have one of those. If you’re not married by age thirty, then we’ll marry each other type things going on. Only ours is a little bit different. We promised that when one or the other of us finds the right man, then that one would have babies, and the other would be the aunt. Nat and I have been obsessed with babies since like forever since we used to play with dolls as toddlers.
She’s got three divorces under her belt, and I’ve got one too many, so we came up with a plan.
I took a sip from my girly drink with the umbrella, don’t ask me what it is because I’m not the designated driver, and I don’t give a shit.
“I feel like crying.”
“Why’s that?” Nat slurped down her virgin-colored sugar water and looked around the bar.
“I don’t see Hottie McFine anywhere. Where did he go with my babies?” I yelled above the music. I think I’m losing it. Either that or they’re lacing these things with meth. Assholes!
“I can’t believe that asshole found someone else already. He’s the worst fucking human being on earth, and he can find two people stupid enough to fall for his shit. While I’m the nicest doormat this side of the Mississippi, and I can’t find one decent asshole on this fucked up orb.”
“Shh, Steph, I think you’ve had enough.” She tried taking my drink, but I moved it out of the way, spilling some down my arm and covering my fingers in the cool icy drink. I licked my hand like a toddler with an icicle in the Tennessee heat while looking around for my dick.
“Dammit, all to hell, I’m getting laid tonight.”
“Steph, where are you going?”
“I’m going after my man; he went that way.” I’m not sure which way my finger was pointing, but I knew where I was going. I disappeared in the crowd before she could grab me.
What the fuck is down here? I peered into the darkness and couldn’t see squat for the first minute or so.
There was a long dark hallway with a light coming from beneath a door at the very end. It said Stairs in the red light above, and there was one of those commercial signs that said Personnel only or some such crap.
I pushed the door maybe a little bit too hard and almost fell flat on the floor, and would’ve if my fall wasn’t broken by something really hard. Maybe the floor would’ve been better. It was like running into a concrete wall at full speed.