Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 113699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 568(@200wpm)___ 455(@250wpm)___ 379(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 568(@200wpm)___ 455(@250wpm)___ 379(@300wpm)
I don’t understand. He shouldn’t care. None of this is real. We aren’t real, but the blood on his knuckles, the insanity surrounding us … all of that tells a different story.
The tension in the air snaps tight like a rubber band, and I know I can’t stand here, waiting, watching, knowing I caused this.
Clutching the water bottle to my chest while using my other hand to keep Lee’s jacket in place, I turn and find the nearest exit. I race through the growing knot of revelers, wincing every time someone touches me, dodging and weaving to avoid any skin contact. Panic claws at my insides, my throat closing up like I’m experiencing an allergic reaction. There are too many people, too much noise. I’m drowning, suffocating.
I slam into the exit door and rush out into the alleyway. Relief ripples across my senses as the night air blows through my hair. I gasp for air as if I’ve been holding my breath the whole time. Safe. I need to find somewhere safe to go.
My thoughts are a jumbled mess. The door behind me opens, and Lee’s warm scent fills my nostrils a moment before he envelops me in his arms. Even after what just happened, I don’t want to push him away or sever the connection, but I can’t. I just can’t.
Shrugging my shoulders, I pull away and turn to face him.
“No, don’t touch me.”
He holds his hands up in surrender, and my eyes gravitate to his bruised and split knuckles, which overlay other bruises and cuts. Has he been fighting before tonight? I hadn’t noticed when we got coffee.
It doesn’t matter. It’s none of my concern.
It’s a lie. Deep down, I know this.
It does matter, and I do care. I care more than I should, more than he deserves.
“I’m sorry.” His words are a slow exhale. “All I saw was his hands on you, and I lost it.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and breathe systematically through my nose.
“I understand why you did it, and I appreciate you coming to my rescue, but …” When I blink my eyes open and see him staring at me, his fists opening and closing like he wants to reach out and grab me, that perfectly chiseled jaw clenched tight, I nearly crumple.
Protective. Kind. Smart. There are so many unseen pieces to the man standing in front of me, and I wish he would allow others to see them.
“But what? I shouldn’t use violence to defend your honor?”
I shake my head. “No, that’s only part of the problem. The other part is the fact that none of this is real. I’m not really yours. This date—”
“You were mine the moment you agreed to fake date me.” Lee interrupts.
All I can do is sigh. This will never work.
We’re too different.
My knees shake, and I can feel the crash coming, the familiar exhaustion tugging at the edges of my mind. The first thing to give out is my legs, and I start to sink to the ground. Lee catches me mid-motion and hauls me up into his arms. “It doesn’t matter to me if this is fake or real. I’d still defend you against those assholes.”
My gaze darts to his lips, so close and full. His warm breath fans against my face. He smells like sweet vodka and soap. All I would have to do is lean forward and press my lips against his. Oh shit. That warmth, the electric zing that flows over my skin. It’s been years since I felt it. That distinct want and desire unraveling in my gut. To touch and feel.
I want him to kiss me like he did in the coffee shop.
The connection severs at the beeping of a car horn. Lee realizes this in an instant, his dark gaze softening. “Let’s get you out of here, Pantry Girl, then we can talk, yeah?”
I narrow my eyes. “Talk about how you can’t just go around slugging people. Sure.”
He chuckles. “A scolding, then. Can’t wait. Maybe we can graduate you to spanking afterward.”
I’m not sure if he means me or him.
ELEVEN
lee
My knuckles sting as I run them under the cold water. The blood swirls down the drain, taking with it all my anger and hostility, leaving behind a cold ache that’s bone-deep.
One, two, three, rinse. I count just like she would.
Salem. She has my emotions all fucked up. Balled up into this tight little box. I look up and catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror just as the bathroom light flickers overhead. Of course it makes the bruising look far worse than it probably is.
“Violence doesn’t solve anything, Lee.”
I can hear the drop in Salem’s voice in my ears and see her slumped shoulders and frown as if she’s standing right in front of me. Disappointed but not scared, even with blood on my hands. I should’ve known I’d ruin our first official date. I’m a disaster wrapped in a bow.