Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 79509 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79509 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
“So, what’s going to happen now?”
“She still wants to move.”
Instantly, all of her anger was gone. Instead of being relieved by the information, she was just hurt, quietly sad, somber. She stepped back slightly, her arms crossing over her chest. Instead of celebrating the exit of our tormentor, she was devastated by the impact it would have on Derek.
It made me fall in love with her all over again. She was selfless, not thinking about herself, but the boy she’d given her heart to. “But…she wouldn’t do that, right? She wouldn’t leave Derek…”
I shook my head slightly. “I was shocked too.”
“I mean, he’s moving there to take care of his kid. She’s going to abandon hers so she can watch her boyfriend raise his baby?”
The irony wasn’t lost on me either.
“There are a million other guys in this city.”
“She said she loves him.”
“But more than Derek?” she asked incredulously. “I just… How? How can she do this? How can she just leave him behind like that?”
It made me sick too. How would I explain this to Derek? How would I prevent my son from hating his mother? How would I fill the void of his mother’s abandonment? I loved him so much, not because I had to, not because I was stuck with him, but because he was my entire reason for living. But I couldn’t be two parents. I couldn’t blunt the pain of losing a parent like that, especially his mother. “I told her she needs to stay. I told her she can’t do this to him. But I don’t know if it’ll make a difference.”
“Jesus.”
“I told her I would never forgive her.”
“Derek won’t either.”
“Yeah…I know.”
Her hands cupped her face for a moment, over her mouth, and she took a second to process everything I’d said, the sheer horror of it. Derek’s life would never be the same. “You’ve been working so hard for the three of you to get along…and then she just leaves. All for nothing.”
When you became a parent, your life wasn’t yours anymore. It was all about the little person you made. You did everything for them, did everything to give them the best life possible. I couldn’t stand Valerie, but I was patient, hoping we could find our own way of being a family.
Valerie never cared.
If she did leave, I just needed to accept it, to rid myself of the guilt. Because I’d done everything I possibly could to keep the three of us together, to have a blended family based on friendship and respect.
But instead…Derek was losing a parent.
Cleo moved her hands to my chest. “You’re a great father, Deacon. You’ll be able to give him everything he needs. I have no doubt.” She smiled through her sadness, her fingers slowly gliding down my chest.
“We’ll be able to give him everything he needs…”
After dinner, I got Derek ready for bed. He brushed his teeth and changed into his pajamas. I put him in his twin-sized bed and pulled the covers up to his shoulder. I didn’t want to leave. I just wanted to sit there with him. He brought me a kind of comfort that no one else ever could, not even Cleo.
Derek opened his eyes. “You’re sad.”
I didn’t even bother to lie about it. I nodded.
“Mom always makes you sad…”
I shrugged.
“She makes me sad too.”
Fuck.
“Because she makes you sad.”
My hand went to his arm, and I gently rubbed him. “Sometimes adults…just can’t get along.”
“There’s a kid in my class I don’t like. Mrs. Kite puts us together to work out our differences, but I just don’t like him…and he doesn’t like me.”
“Why don’t you like him?”
“He doesn’t pay attention in class, he kills spiders for no reason, he pulled up a girl’s shirt when the teacher was in the hallway and embarrassed her. No one likes him. But I was the one who told him to stop…so we’ve never gotten along.”
I squeezed his arm. “It’s good that you stand up for other people, Derek. And spiders.”
“They’re good for the environment. They kill all the bad bugs.”
“That’s true. They do.”
“And it was just a daddy longlegs, not even venomous.”
“Maybe I should talk to Mrs. Kite about all this.”
He shook his head. “No…”
I left it alone and rubbed his back.
“Can we go to the cabin this weekend?”
“It’s supposed to snow.”
“I like the snow.”
“I’ll think about it.” I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. “Go to sleep. I love you.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
I turned off the lamp and left his bedroom. Cleo was on the couch in the living room, holding a glass of wine, wearing my sweatpants and t-shirt because all her little shorts and tank tops were too revealing around Derek.
I fell into the cushion beside her, my arm draping over her shoulders, my hand immediately moving to her thigh.
“How is he?”