Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 100277 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 501(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100277 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 501(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
It took me a second to realize I was holding my breath at the sight of his masculine beauty.
Yup.
As if I couldn’t help myself, I tiptoed over to him and dared to lean in. My lips brushed his warm cheek and I inhaled the scent of him. Something ferocious overwhelmed me.
Longing.
The kind of intense longing I hadn’t felt since I was a kid and I wanted parents who paid attention to me and were overprotective. Who loved me more than they loved anything.
I definitely needed to get the hell out of there.
Jerking back, mind roiling with confusion, I hurried quietly away from him and spotted the notepad on his phone table. Quickly writing him a note, explaining I had an impromptu job to get up for (a lie), I told him I’d see him later.
Then I left.
* * *
• • •
“You just left?” Roger’s eyebrows were very, very high, and I didn’t know why.
“Yeah. So?”
Hours later, curled up on Roger’s couch, I’d caught my best friend up on the garden party, emergency call, and subsequent overnighter.
“Has he called you?”
I shifted in discomfort. “Yeah, but I was busy, so I didn’t pick up. He texted me.”
“And?”
“He was just checking I got home okay.” Truth.
“You replied, right?”
“Of course I did.”
“So you snuck out?”
“I left.”
“You snuck out.”
“Potayto, potahto.”
“You really like him,” Roger surmised in astonishment.
He wasn’t the only one astonished by that assessment. “Uh, I do not. I admit I’m attracted to him, but only on a very basic level.”
“Liar. If it was just attraction and you didn’t like him, you wouldn’t have snuck out. The Star I know would have hung around and made him breakfast.”
“We didn’t sleep together. I crashed at his place.”
“You still wouldn’t have given a crap about waking up in his bed if you didn’t like him. Instead, you snuck out of there like it scared you to face him.”
Frustration burst out of me. “Okay, so what if I did? I’m trying to maintain a professional distance with the guy.”
Roger wrinkled his nose. “I’m confused. What would be wrong if you liked each other and dated for real?”
Like he didn’t know. “Oh please, Roger, we both know once Rafe slept with me, the shine would start to wear off Star Shine Meadows.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” Roger scowled fiercely.
“I don’t belong in his world.” As if that weren’t already obvious. “He’d get bored of our differences pretty damn quick.”
“When have you ever cared about that shit?”
I shook my head, not wanting to get into it. “It’s beside the point. Rafe Whitman is Mr. Commitment Guy. I won’t hurt him or me by starting something that I intend to finish within a few weeks.”
“If that’s the case, there would be no harm in dating him if you think he’s going to get bored with you in a few weeks anyway.”
My pulse was racing too hard for such a seemingly harmless discussion. “You’re talking in circles and I’m done with this conversation.”
Roger held up his hands in surrender, but his gaze was far too deep and searching. “I’ll stop, but I want to end this by saying I’ve never seen you this agitated over a guy before, and I think it means something. You always said rules weren’t for you, so why are you making these steadfast rules against being in a committed relationship with someone?”
“Because . . . I don’t have it in me. Monogamy is not in my DNA.” My friend opened his mouth to speak, but I held up a hand. “Please, Roger. Can we just hang out? I’ve been so busy lately that I feel like we haven’t just hung out and chilled together. Especially alone.” Jude and Kendall were in Brooklyn for an art showing that Roger didn’t feel like attending.
“Okay.” He grinned at me as he got up. “Let me order some pizza and we’ll put on a movie. There’s a new rom-com on Netflix that I’ve been dying to watch, but Jude keeps nay-saying.”
I chuckled. “Sounds like an awesome plan.”
As Roger called for takeout and set up the movie at the same time, I tried not to look at my phone, at my text string with Rafe. I attempted not to think about him at all. The harder I tried, the worse it got. The whole time we ate and watched that movie, I thought about the way he’d defended me to his parents’ friends, how at ease he seemed when it was just the two of us, and of course, I couldn’t get that scorching kiss off my mind either.
Chapter Fifteen
I’d spent the last few Fourth of July weekends with my friends. Roger and Kendall usually hosted a party on the roof of their apartment building. Jude begrudgingly went along with it, so I wouldn’t really call him a host.
This year was the first time I couldn’t attend their party, and Jude and Kendall were a little upset I’d prioritized work over them. I knew that because they’d said it to my face. Roger had told them to give me a break, and I had a feeling I knew why he was so cool about my absence.