Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 100277 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 501(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100277 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 501(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
“Even if I wasn’t acting like the person you fell in love with?”
“In the most important ways, you will always be you, no matter how you dress or what job you have, and I would take any part of you over having nothing at all.”
My tears set free and he kissed them from my cheeks.
“I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you,” he whispered against my lips, his breathing harsh. “I tried to show you how I felt without saying it. But I should have just said it. I love you, Star. You. The you you want to be. Never doubt it. Because, baby, my love for you is fucking immeasurable. If I’m honest, I’m not sure I will ever be fully comfortable with how much I love you.”
An overwhelming sense of relief nearly took me out at the knees. “I get it.” I reached up to clasp his face in my hands. “I tried to convince myself I was happy being someone I thought fit better with your family because I wanted us all to get along. Being a part of your family is important to me. I didn’t want to drive a wedge between you and them. I didn’t want that for you because I love you too much.”
His hands tightened on me. “I love my family, but they don’t get to decide who fits with me. I do. And the woman who fits me is perfectly named, wears dresses that make me want to undress her, is kind and honest with everyone around her, including herself, and her biggest ambition in life is to be happy. So if you’re okay with it, I’d like her back now.”
The last few weeks of pressure had crippled me more than I’d realized. It all welled up out of me as I sobbed, falling into Rafe. Between crying, I choked out the words “I love you so much.”
We held each other, relief and the cold making us tremble together.
Rafe sighed against the top of my head. “I always believed every human being belongs to themself, and in all the important ways that matter, I still believe that. But I also think it’s bullshit. Because I’ve never felt like I belonged more than when I’m with you.”
“Me too.” I nodded, completely understanding.
He gently pushed me away, but only to bend his head and take my mouth in a hungry kiss. I clung on, kissing him back even as I cried a well of relief and weeks of pent-up emotion. Tasting my tears, Rafe released my lips and gently wiped my cheeks with his thumbs. “Now let’s get inside and get dry before we both catch a chill. And then I think we should go home.”
“Home?”
Rafe nodded. “I don’t want to spend another day without you. I hated the last few nights without you in the apartment.”
“Are you asking me to move in with you?”
He grinned, holding me tighter to him. “Yes. What do you say?”
I smiled back, looping my arms around his neck. “I say yes, but you have to let me pay rent.”
Rafe sighed. “Star—”
“Rafe. This is who I am.”
“Okay. We’ll work it out.”
“Yeah . . .” Happiness filled me, and for the first time in weeks I felt the relief of being truly myself as I promised him, “We absolutely will.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
“Are you ready to go?” Rafe asked from the doorway.
I stood on the entrance of our living space staring at the new floor-to-ceiling shelving unit we’d spent yesterday building. Except for a space in the middle for Rafe’s large TV, the wall was now filled with my books and knickknacks. Now that I had extra room, the knickknacks would soon be thrown over for more books.
The sight of all of my books together looked great. I’d gone to bed giddy about it and even as we ate the breakfast bagels Rafe put together, my eyes kept straying to the shelving unit. Rafe’s once very polished apartment was starting to look more like home. More like ours. He hadn’t complained when I’d draped my favorite hand-embroidered throw over his couch and added a couple of colorful cushions to the bed.
And when I’d been unpacking, I’d placed photos of me, Roger, Kendall, and Jude on the bed, wondering where I’d put them, only for Rafe to put them in pride of place on the TV sideboard. Now they were on the shelves along with photos of Rafe’s family and a few selfies I’d taken with Rafe and then framed.
It had been a month since our infamous fight and declaration of love, but it could have been a year for how intrinsically woven into this apartment I now was. Rafe had made sure I knew this place was ours now. For the first time in my life, a physical space felt like home. Because of the person I shared it with.