Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 66732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
I’m not sure he’s even attracted to me, and honestly, my crush on him growing up had faded as I grew into an adult. Although he’s never been unkind to me, there’s an edge to Ethan, especially when he’s home. There’s a tension between him and his father that makes me wonder if, at times, Ethan isn’t a little afraid of him and, at other times, something else. Something darker.
But I digress.
When he proposed, I told him I wasn’t ready, but just as I wasn’t ready to say yes, he wasn’t willing to take no for an answer.
I, like a coward, had caved. I took the ring. Said I’d think about it when all the while I was just putting off telling him no. I only accepted his proposal minutes after Silas walked out on me after saying all those things he said. All those things that had left me reeling. It was a mistake. I should never have accepted Ethan’s ring.
Now, though? Now I can’t put it off any longer. I can’t pretend with Ethan and hope it will go away on its own. If I don’t stop this now, there will be an announcement, and it will be harder than ever to get out of it.
Ethan will be here later today, and we’ll drive together to Sinistral. We’re supposed to spend the Christmas holiday there. My dress for the Foxes’ annual masquerade ball hangs from the closet door. The seamstress had it sent over yesterday, the final alterations complete just in time for the big event.
Guilt gnaws at me. I know how much it cost. Mira chose my dress from her favorite Italian designer and had it made to order before I even had the event on my radar. I guess she wanted to be sure I wore something that would befit her son’s social standing. My tastes are much simpler than hers, and she, like Ethan, is particular about my hair and makeup, the way I am seen to the public.
The gown is stunning, a crimson floor-length satin dress with a deep slit that runs along my right thigh. The mask doesn’t actually conceal who I am as much as accentuate my best features. Mira will also be lending me her prized ruby choker for the night. It’s really a night to show off their wealth and renewed standing. This year, it may be more important than previous years, given what’s happened—and the fact that they canceled it the last three years running while Sly was under investigation. It’ll be the first since the end of the trial, and the Foxes will announce our engagement then.
I should be grateful, considering, I know, but I can’t do this anymore. It’s not real. My feelings for Ethan aren’t what they should be. I know that. I’ve known it for a long time. The other day, I lied to Silas. I don’t love Ethan. I’m not sure I ever have.
My mind wanders to the ball five years ago. I was seventeen, months from turning eighteen. Ethan had been away at college. He hadn’t seen me since school had started, and I’d wanted to make an impression when he got home. Mira had helped me choose my dress then, too, and Dad hadn’t liked it much because he’d thought it was too revealing. He’d made me wear a silk wrap, which Mira had hated, but I didn’t mind. To be honest, the dress was a little lower cut than I was comfortable with, but Mira Fox is not an easy woman to say no to.
There is a pattern here. None of the Foxes take no for an answer very easily.
That year I’d worn a full face, ornate mask bought from a specialty shop in Venice. It had cost a fortune, but I knew I wanted it as soon as I saw it in one of Mrs. Fox’s magazines, and I saved up. But it hadn’t been Ethan who’d been surprised that night. It had been me.
Silas Cruz had come to the party. Not that he’d been invited, but given the masks, he’d managed to sneak in, and he’d done it for no reason other than to fuck with the Foxes.
My stomach flutters at the thought of Silas, my mind wandering to the other night at his hotel. I’d gone to tell him off. I’d gone because I was still angry and humiliated and hurt from the last time I saw him. But what happened hadn’t been me telling him off. It had turned into something else entirely, and I can’t stop thinking about it or about him.
He’s right. What I feel when he touches me is something completely different than anything I’ve ever felt with or for Ethan. Silas is fireworks and heat, a blaze so fucking hot it will incinerate us both, turn us to ash. With Ethan, well, it’s something that fizzled out before it even began.