The Hatesick Diaries (St. Mary’s Rebels #5) Read Online Saffron A. Kent

Categories Genre: Angst, Contemporary, New Adult, Romance, Sports, Virgin Tags Authors: Series: St. Mary’s Rebels Series by Saffron A. Kent
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Total pages in book: 185
Estimated words: 191421 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 957(@200wpm)___ 766(@250wpm)___ 638(@300wpm)
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“W-what?”

“If you want me to keep your secret, then I want what I’m owed.”

“What does… What does that mean?”

“It means,” his mouth curls up in a cold smirk. “That I want my payment.”

“What?”

“I know you think I’m some kind of a good guy. That I helped you or saved you or whatever the fuck you’re thinking, out of the goodness of my heart, but,” he says, still tenderly cradling my cheeks and staring down at me, “I don’t have much of a heart, remember? I’m heartless. So I want something in return. I want the thing that you haven’t given to anyone else. Not even him. The guy you love. Your ex-fucking-boyfriend. Because you’re saving it for me.”

I know what he’s saying.

I know.

But I still can’t make sense of it. I still can’t make sense of what he’s doing.

“You give me that tight little cherry that you’re so dearly holding on to, and I’ll keep your secret. I’ll let you keep what you think I gave you, your ex-boyfriend.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

The Bandit

I didn’t mean to read her diary. That’s the first thing.

I, for one, know how private it is. How intimate.

All I wanted to do was touch it.

Touch the one thing that has connected us since the beginning.

Or rather had connected us, since I don’t allow myself to write anymore.

And then touching led to opening. That led to flipping through the yellow pages. But even then I had no intention of reading any of her words.

Until I accidentally flipped open an old entry and stumbled upon ‘watermelon.’

I don’t know why that fascinated me so much, that word. That word written in the same sentence as ‘kiss.’

Look, I have wondered about that kiss. About why she would do it when she hated me. And the only logical explanation is that she was distraught after what had happened that night. After the whole proposal disaster. And since she had a crush on me way back when, she took solace in my arms.

Another thing: Yes, I know about her crush. When we had first met. Why else would I have had to push her toward Lucas? I knew she had a thing for me — misguidedly — so I crushed it.

That she still thinks about that kiss though was a revelation. But then as I said to Lucas the other night, it doesn’t mean anything. A two-minute kiss doesn’t negate her love for Lucas.

But anyway, when I did read that word in her diary, there was no stopping me. I read that line and then another, and another and the next thing I knew I’d read the whole paragraph.

But then my self-disgust became too much for me to go on and so I shut it and put it back in its place.

Despite all that though, despite my horrendous invasion of privacy, I had no intention of ever bringing it up.

Ever using it against her.

But I had to.

That’s the second thing. That I had to.

I didn’t want to blackmail her but she left me no choice.

I did have a feeling that she’d pull something like this. That she might object to Lucas’s so-called ultimatum. It’s the good girl in her. Wanting to save everyone, fix everything. So I figured I’d block her number and help out my dead best friend one last time. I figured if I ignored her for a few days, she’d give up and be with who she’s supposed to be with.

But of course not. She had to come find me.

She had to fucking stalk me.

And so I had to improvise.

I had to fucking scare her somehow. Scare her away for good.

Scare her back to the fucking love of her life.

“You still alive?”

My brother’s voice wakes me up.

Because of course that’s what I need right now. The third degree from my noble big brother.

I eye him across the conference room table. “Unfortunately.”

Always put together and polished, he eyes me back, his face a mask of disapproval. “There are better ways to kill yourself.”

I lick my split lip, loving the sting. “What can I say, I like to torture myself.”

“Is that what you do? At that gym of yours.”

I stare at him for a few beats before saying, “For the millionth time, it’s a boxing gym. I’d love to tell you that we sit around and braid each other’s hair and talk about our next knitting project. But that would be a lie and I’m not a liar. Goes against my principles.”

I shoot him a mock smile.

My big brother stares at me flatly. “Apart from the fact that it makes a very bad impression on our partners, sitting across from a street thug while discussing land permits and other hotel-related needs, I’d like to remind you that I have a black belt in karate. I’ve also been trained in jujitsu and mixed martial arts and I never looked like that.”


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