Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 94220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
He must know what I mean by that. I don’t want to have to speak it. Don’t want to think about how hard it was when I had to spend those seventy-two hours getting my head back on straight.
“I shouldn’t have told you any of that.”
“But I’m glad you did.” He firms his grip on my hand, and damn, it’s so reassuring.
“I’m kind of glad I did too,” I confess. “It’s hard struggling with this just inside my head. There’s a lot of shit in there like that.”
I shake my head, wishing I could shake it all right out, but I’ve learned by now that no amount of struggling internally or externally can make those thoughts go away.
And with them, comes a torrent of memories.
“I was supposed to take care of Mike,” I spit out. “That’s what Dad always said. ‘You’re in charge of your brother. You make sure he’s safe.’ But I failed. So fucking miserably.”
“I obviously don’t know much about your dad, but do you think he would have expected you to stop him from going missing? How would you have been able to do that?”
I shoot him a look. I know he’s trying to be helpful, and he couldn’t have understood how far off he is. “Leif, trust me when I tell you, he would have expected me to keep Mike safe. Always.”
His gaze settles on the tabletop for a moment before he releases my hand.
No, don’t go.
Although, it’s a premature fear since he pushes to his feet only to scoot his chair around the corner of the table, closer to me.
What the hell is he doing?
He sits back down and sets his hand on my thigh, stroking his thumb across my jeans. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have made that assumption about your father. I, of all people, should’ve known better. I hate it when people assume I should have a great relationship with my grandma just because we’re blood related. I don’t know what you’ve been through. But I do know from everything you’ve shared with me that you’re not responsible for your brother going missing.”
As a tear falls from my eye, I wonder where the hell that crept up from, but I don’t fight it. I don’t mind Leif seeing me like this. “I should have done a better job keeping up with him. I should have called him more. I should have followed him everywhere…”
I’m not so unaware of myself that I don’t realize that’s why I’m doing this with Leif. Because I’m making up for what I couldn’t do for Mike.
He raises his hand to my face and wipes the tear from my cheek.
Warmth pulses through me.
I feel so fucking safe right now. I can’t remember a time when I ever felt so safe.
I turn my face into his hand and kiss his palm.
Our gazes meet again, and for the first time since we started our chat, I don’t feel like I have to hide from his gaze. He’s seen this dark shit in me, and he’s still here.
Who are you, Leif Anderson?
Once again, I find myself staring at his lips, and an impulse rises within me. I lean toward him, waiting for him to jerk away, but he doesn’t react the way I expect; he leans closer.
My gaze shifts to his eyes, those beautiful brown irises sparkling under the chandelier light.
Our lips graze against each other’s, and as an electric charge moves through me, Leif’s mouth opens, like he’s inviting me in. I hook my arms around him, practically falling out of my chair as I slide my tongue into his mouth, my face pressed against his.
God, he tastes good.
And the kiss dissolves all my worries and fears.
Assures me that nothing I said has fucked anything up between us.
There’s a moment when we’re trying to figure out how to position our bodies, our lips parting only long enough for me to straddle his waist. And in our frenzy, we manage to butt heads.
We laugh before our lips mash against one another’s again, our hands greedily groping each other’s bodies. My limbs, my tongue, my cock are beyond my control as we work up an intense heat.
I figured it would feel good to kiss him, but how could I have ever imagined the sensations that surge through me?
Will I die like this, unable to drink or eat because my body refuses to let this experience escape my grasp?
Another sweep of his tongue in my mouth sends a wave of sensation through me, and my cock is so painfully hard that I growl.
Leif’s hand slides from my waist to the front, down to my crotch, strokes my fly, my hips rocking.
I’m so fucking intoxicated that it’s hard to even remember the specifics of what we were just talking about. There’s only Leif and all the sensations he’s worked up.