Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
I looked down at my hands, twisting my fingers together.
“I wanted to take the box with me when I left to come live with you. But I couldn’t find it. I assume it got mixed up with everything going on and misplaced.” I shrugged. “I guess it doesn’t really matter. It’s just materialistic things. The only thing that’s important are the memories you hold on to, you know?”
When he didn’t answer, I looked over at him once more. His jaw was clenched tight, a muscle working underneath it. He stared at the fire as he tossed back the rest of his drink.
I glanced at my hands, my thoughts leaving happier memories about my father, and going down a darker path. I stared at my wrists. Earlier in the night, they’d been an angry red but were now deeper, darker shades of scarlet.
The sight of it pissed me off.
I should have fought harder, screamed louder.
“It wouldn’t have made a difference.” Hades finally spoke, and I realized I’d said those words out loud.
“I loved my father and mother.” I pushed all thoughts of Trevor away. I stared into my glass. “But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit they were absent from my life more than they were around.” I took another sip.
I didn’t know why I was telling him any of this. I’m sure he didn’t care. But the words spilled from me on their own, as if a faucet had been opened and all my insides were just pouring out.
I felt extremely vulnerable right now. Probably more so than I’d ever felt before.
I looked over at Hades again just in time to see him get up to refill his drink, sit back down, and lift his glass and take a long pull from it. He’d taken off his jacket and slung it over the back of the chair, unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt, and rolled the sleeves up his forearms.
The dark tattoos on his skin clashed with the crisp whiteness of the button-down. And then there were the splatters of blood on the collar and still a few droplets on his neck.
I felt this wave of need move through me. It was slow, like water touching the shore before being called back to the abyss. I glanced away quickly, my face heating, my throat tightening.
I shouldn’t find that violence attractive.
“And when they passed away, I felt like there was this hole inside of me. But I think it’s always been there. It’s just bigger now.”
I ran the pad of my finger over the rim of my tumbler, once more thinking about that blanket my father gave me and how I wrapped it tightly around me. It gave me a faux sense of safety. As a child, the smallest things helped so much.
Not anymore.
The emotion took the air from my lungs. “I feel like I’m floating into a black hole. I feel like I’m nothing.” That last word was whispered so softly I didn’t even know if I’d actually said it out loud.
But the sound of Hades setting his glass down on the table beside him had me blinking back into focus.
“Trevor… I think you broke his hands and nose.” I was stating the obvious. I’d known that before we even left the party. I glanced at Hades and said, “Will you get in trouble?” I didn’t want him to. He was protecting me.
Hades slowly shook his head.
I licked my suddenly dry lips and nodded. “Good. I want nothing to happen to you.” I was surprised at how much those words meant.
A long moment of silence passed as I focused on the feeling of the heat from the fire washing over me. But it still didn’t take the chill away.
“I would have killed him for you.”
I looked at Hades sharply, so stunned by his admission that I was speechless.
“Don’t say those things,” I whispered and couldn’t draw my focus away from him. He didn’t speak, just kept watching me with that penetrating gaze. “It’s not right—”
“What’s not right?” The way he asked it was light, almost conversational. But I could feel the underlying interest laced in those words.
And when he leaned forward ever-so-slightly, I knew he expected my answer.
“Saying things that are so… permanent.”
“It’s true though. And I would have enjoyed ending his life just for touching you.”
I swallowed roughly, heat pooling in my lower belly because I enjoyed hearing him say those things. “None of this is right.” I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, and he watched the act, his eyes becoming hooded.
He made a strange noise in the back of his throat. It was reminiscent of a growl. Hades picked up his glass, finishing the alcohol.
“Tell me how you feel, sweetheart. Tell me all the things you want unburdened.”
How did I answer? Did I even dare say all the things that rolled around in my head? Instead, I whispered, “How I feel about you…” I swallowed roughly. “It’s not how I’m supposed to feel. How I’m supposed to feel for you. It’s wrong,” I admitted.